Chandeliers
by LockedSoulsAM
Summary: Have you ever felt so empty and alone that you just wanted it to be over? The feelings of pain, hurt, and depression always coursing through your veins. To know how it feels to wake up everyday and pretend that everything is okay. Rachel Berry felt like this all the time until that day on the roof. That day changed everything, maybe even for the better. Trigger Warnings: Inside
1. Outside Looking In

Chandeliers

By: LockedSoulsAM

Summary: Have you ever felt so empty and alone that you just wanted it to be over? The feelings of pain, hurt, and depression always coursing through your veins. To know how it feels to wake up everyday and pretend that everything is okay. Rachel Berry felt like this all the time until that day on the roof. That day changed everything, maybe even for the better. **Trigger Warnings: In Effect almost every chapter so beware. Dark Themes ahead. **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Glee I wouldn't be on here. **

**I own this story line and any new characters that come with it. **

**A/N: Hello to all of my new readers. I've been thinking about writing this story for a while now and it's very close to my heart. My other story, LGL will not be neglected. Both stories will get equal amounts of my time. This story is completely AU. Trigger Warnings are in effect almost every chapter. It's a pretty darkly themed story and I can't figure out whether I should bump the rating up to M yet. **

**Enjoy =)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 1 Outside Looking In<p>

_"You don't know my name,_

_You don't know anything about me"_

"Slushie Facial for Manhands!" Rachel Berry heard as she walked down the hallway of McKinley High School. It wouldn't be the first time she heard the phrase and certainly wouldn't be the last.

Rachel tenses and prepares herself for the freezing liquid that was bound to be thrown her way. It would be her third one today and 3rd hour hasn't even started yet. Rachel squeezes her eyes together and immediately feels the presence of someone in front of her.

"Open your eyes loser and take it like the man you are." A boy sneered at her.

Rachel's impeccable hearing indicated that the boy was taller than her 5 foot 2 inches. She knew that voice. Azimio Adams, the tall black hockey player who was about 6'2. Exactly a foot taller than Rachel and certainly a few hundred pounds heavier.

Rachel doesn't open her eyes though.

She just wishes that he would get on with it so that she could go about her cleaning process. She's glad that she decided to keep her extra outfit in her backpack.

"He said open your eyes." There was that second voice that Rachel was almost expecting. Dave Karofsky another jock. "What are you deaf?"

"I'm not deaf." Rachel murmurs.

"What was that?" Azimio asks pushing Rachel up against the lockers. He would never hit a girl but it seemed that pushing was an exception to that rule. "Did I hear you want two slushie facials?"

Rachel says nothing. She's used to it by now.

If she opens her eyes she would see that there is a crowd of kids behind them. Everyone with their phones out recording.

It's sophomore year and Rachel is still the target of everyone's taunting. Even though she's known most of the kids since 7th grade when she transferred from Lima Academy to McKinley Middle School. Rachel was an outcast then and now she's an even bigger outcast.

If she kept score, Rachel would say she's had 3,204 slushies since the first day of freshman year last year. It's the highest any student has been slushied and it won't be stopping anytime soon.

Before Rachel has time to process what is happening, two slushies are thrown on her face and clothes.

"Loser!" A few kids behind them yell at her as Azimio and Karofsky walk away, but not before giving each other a high five.

Rachel wipes the chilly flavors of grape and cherry slushie from her eyes lids and wipes her hands on her shirt.

Opening her eyes, Rachel looks down at herself.

Her clothes are stained and her feet are soaked inside of the ugly brown penny loafers she has been forced to wear for the last few years. The animal sweaters are anything but flattering and the skirts do nothing to keep the slushie from drying and sticking to her legs.

She doesn't really like the clothes she wears but doesn't want to waste money on buying ones she liked, in fear of them being ruined.

Her hair is matted to her head and dripping giant drops of cherry slushie on her shoulder. All Rachel really wants to do is cry and scream at the two bumbling ogres who have done this to her. But she knows if she does that the repercussions will be even worse.

She keeps her composure and picks up the dark green backpack that has managed to escape the slushie storm.

She holds her head down in shame and continues to walk down the hallway despite the snickers and staring from her peers.

She makes the mistake of looking up and immediately makes eye contact with one person who hates her even more than Azimio and Karofsky put together.

Brown eyes meet brown eyes and stay like that for a second before Rachel looks away. The Unholy Trinity consisted of three of the most beautiful girls in all of Lima.

Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez and Brittany Pearce. All of them were Cheerios and wouldn't be caught dead hanging out or talking to Rachel. Unless they were yelling some obscene nickname at her, that was the exception to talking to the social pariah known as, Rachel Berry.

_" I try to play your game,_

_The things that you say, "_

To walk around school and not a soul could touch you.

To be able to walk around school and know you had friends. To be wanted.

But as Rachel looks away she realizes that it doesn't matter because she will never know. Even if the girls were in Glee club with her it didn't matter. They would never be friends.

They were supposed to be a team but they weren't.

Rachel looks up at stops at the first girls bathroom that she sees. She hopes that is empty. She doesn't really have time to worry about it. The cherry slushie is starting to drip from her bangs and into her eyes. She has to go and wash before it becomes too much.

She takes one last look at the Unholy Trinity before heading into the bathroom.

* * *

><p><em>"You may think I never hear about them,<em>

_But word travels fast"_

"Did you hear about Rachel Berry?" Rachel hears the murmured whispers from one of the bathroom stalls.

"What about her two gay dads?" There is disgust in another girls tone.

Rachel peeks through the slit of the stall to see that the girls are two baby Cheerios. She doesn't dare to go out now.

After changing her clothes, Rachel needs to wash the soiled ones to make sure the stains don't settle.

Rachel takes a deep shuddering breath. She's tried to keep most of her home life at home. No, she wasn't ashamed of her fathers but she didn't really talk about them either unless someone mentioned her parents.

"Yeah don't they read the bible?" The brunette cheerio asks.

"They're all going to hell anyway." the other cheerio snickered.

Rachel is about to step out of the bathroom and say something when another figure walks into the bathroom.

"Out Now." The new figure yells. It's Santana Lopez.

The baby Cheerios evacuate the room as though there is a fire.

Santana leans against the sink and looks into the mirror.

"Perra estupida. Siempre dando ordenes." She grumbles.

The Latina turns smacks the sink one time as her grumbling gets louder. "Es que no se que tengo las maquinillas de afeitar en mi pelo? Yo pedria cortar su- Yo podria cortar su tan malo-"

Santana's rant stops when a stall door opens.

"I thought I said out!"

Santana turns around to see Rachel Berry standing nervously in the stall door. Santana slackens a little and folds her arms. "Oh it's you."

Rachel doesn't say a word but nods toward Santana.

She steps to one of the sinks beside the girl and sets her soaked clothes inside of them.

Santana doesn't say a word either.

She simply watches Rachel.

"If I've missed a spot I would appreciate you telling me." Rachel speaks up from her soaking. She doesn't dare to look at the girl though. She doesn't exactly know where she stands with Santana. " I wouldn't want to drip on your perfectly white Nike shoes."

Santana looks down at her white Nike air force ones for a second and then back up at Rachel.

For a second Rachel thinks she will respond. It would be better than the older girl simply staring at her like she has a third eye.

Santana huffs and rolls her eyes.

"Whatever Loser." She folds her arms and purposely bumps into Rachel before exiting the bathroom.

_"I'm telling you to your face,_

_I'm standing here behind your back"_

Rachel stops her scrubbing to look at herself in the mirror.

When had she become this kid? This shell of herself that she used to be.

But she can't remember the last time she was that bubbly and bright little girl. Maybe 7th grade was where she lost that innocent and sweet approach on life. Maybe even before.

Rachel was always a year younger than her class mates because she skipped pre-school and went straight to Kindergarten.

"Big Whoop." Rachel snorts and goes back to scrubbing.

It's super quiet outside of the bathroom door and Rachel realizes she is almost 20 minutes late to 3rd hour.

"Shit!" She cries.

How was she going to get these clothes to dry in time to even attend class? Her life really sucked right now.

* * *

><p>"You're almost an hour late to my class Rachel." Mrs. Cookie looks over to the blushing Rachel.<p>

"I'm so sorry Mrs. Cookie I -" Rachel tries to explain.

"Save it Rachel sit down and try to salvage what's left of my class." The woman turns back to the board and continues to write whatever new equation she is teaching.

Rachel goes to sit where her seat is in the middle of the class. As she looks up she notices all eyes are on her and she can't help but notice those brown ones again.

A major con to having Mrs. Cookie's Geometry class was that she shared it with the Unholy Trinity. Quinn sat right in front of her with Brittany and Santana sat right beside her.

Rachel holds her breath and takes a few steps down the aisle. A slim calf slips out and Rachel slips over a foot.

Her papers are thrown all around the classroom and the tiny girl falls almost painfully to her knees.

Quinn pulls her foot back under her desk as the class erupts into fits of laughter. "Nice Going Treasure Trail." She quips looking down at Rachel.

Rachel glares up at the girl but doesn't say a word.

They aren't worth her time. None of them are.

Rachel quickly grabs her papers and continues to her seat.

"All right Enough!" Mrs. Cookie tries to settle her class. " Rachel if there are anymore interruptions I will be forced to send you to the office."

Rachel opens her mouth to protest but deflated when Mrs. Cookie leaves no room for arguments.

She notices that half of the class is still snickering except for those brown eyes.

Rachel shakes her head and looks down at her papers.

She wipes away a few tears, not without some landing on her paper. "Great now she wouldn't be able to see her English homework."

Rachel looks up to the front of the class, willing herself not to cry. She has to have good grades this year otherwise she won't be able to pass. Last year was different and she barely passed but here she was.

So she quickly takes her notebook from her bag and tries to take as many notes as she can. Even though missing almost the whole class probably wouldn't help her in the long run.

* * *

><p>Hearing the laughter, cheering and busy chattering of all the happy students in the cafeteria taunts Rachel as she walks past it. She doesn't want to look in.<p>

All of the happy faces upset her now and she doesn't really feel like crying anymore today. She continues on her way to the school auditorium that is always open and empty during A lunch.

Rachel simply climbs onto the stage and sits at the piano.

She runs her small, feminine fingers over the keys a few times. She has one song in mind now. So she presses the first few notes and decides to let herself feel the music.

_"You don't know how it feels,_

_To be outside the crowd_

_You don't know what it's like,_

_To be left out"_

Tears slip from her dark chocolate eyes and down her cheeks freely now. Here she feels safe enough to let go.

She tries to be optimistic. One day she will be out of the town and on Broadway. She'd be bigger than anyone that has treated her wrong. She'd be better than these people and she'd never have to look back.

_"And you don't know how it feels, _

_To be your own best friend_

_On the outside looking _in."

She'll get there by herself.

Rachel Barbra Berry would be a star.

* * *

><p>"Hey RuPaul, I see you've finally learned to stay on your own two feet." Quinn leers as the Unholy Trinity walks past the girl at her locker.<p>

Rachel closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

She's just too tired right now. Crying always made her sleepy and she'd done a lot during lunch.

Rachel closes her locker to see all of the girls standing at Quinn's locker talking to Finn Hudson. Something must have been funny because Quinn laughs and twirls her ponytail in the way that says she is flirting.

Rachel leans against her locker and watches the couple for a moment. They look so happy and in love. Even though she knows that Quinn doesn't actually like Finn.

Being an outcast has given Rachel enough time to just see and listen. She knew a lot about everyone but she wasn't going to stoop to their level. Gossiping was beneath her. Even if most of the gossip was about her.

She wishes someone would look at her like that.

She lets herself smile a little and just observe the couple a little more.

* * *

><p><em>"If you could read my mind, <em>

_You might see more tha_n meets the eye

And you've all been wrong,

Not who you think I am

You've never given me a chance"

Rachel sits in front of the Glee Club and begins to sing her song for today's assignment.

The assignment was to give people an insight to your life.

To show them who you really were.

Rachel just thought this song was a perfect choice and it described her mood to the tea.

_"You don't know how it feels,_

_To be outside the crowd_

_You don't know what it's like,_

_To be left out_

_And you don't know how it feels,_

_To be your own best friend _

_On the outside looking in"_

The Glee Clubs watches in silence.

Most of them really didn't care. But those brown eyes never left hers and Rachel noticed it.

She focused on each of her teammates faces.

Tina and Mike were watching her carefully but not really paying attention. Artie was silently singing along.

Mercedes and Kurt were watching but probably assessing her outfit choice. Finn was smiling dumbly while Puck was scratching his mohawk.

Quinn was picking her nails clearly bored.

Brittany was talking with Sam about something.

But those beautiful brown eyes seemed to always be the ones paying attention.

Even if Rachel didn't think too much of it.

_"Well, I'm tired of staying at home_

_I'm bored and all alone_

_I'm sick of wasting all my time"_

Rachel doesn't even finish the song. It's becoming too much and for the first time in her life, she can feel herself choking. She quickly stands and picks up her back before running out of the room.

Everyone's attention focus' to Mr. Schuester to see what he would do.

"Who's next?" He asks trying to fill the awkward silence.

Mercedes raises her hand and quickly takes Rachel's forgotten stool in front of the class. No one cared that Rachel had just stormed out obviously was a nobody anyway.

* * *

><p><em>"You don't know how it feels,<em>

_To be outside the crowd_

_You don't know what it's like,_

_To be left out_

_And you don't know how it feels,_

_To be your own best friend _

_On the outside looking in"_

"I'm home!" Rachel yells as she enters the back door of her home.

She sets her backpack on a chair and looks around.

It's too quiet. "Dad? Daddy?" Rachel calls out.

She enters the living room to see that there is a note right beside the house phone.

_**"Hey Sweets, **_

_**Me and your Father decided to go out tonight with some friends. Cook yourself some dinner and behave. **_

_**Don't wait up for us.**_

_**Daddy Leroy"**_

Rachel read the note and crumpled it up in anger.

She throws it angrily in the trash and screams.

When were they ever at home?

_"I'm tired of staying at home_

_I'm bored and all alone_

_I'm sick of wasting all my time"_

Rachel brokenly sings to herself.

Her voice fades, too filled with emotions to continue.

She slides against the wall and just cries.

She would always be on the outside looking in.

**A/N: Should I continue?**

**I'm thinking updates every Tuesday for this story. **

**Remember it's AU so Rachel is nothing like the Rachel from the show. **

**Santana Translation-**

****Perra estupida. Siempre dando ordenes**-Stupid bitch. Always giving orders**

**Ella sabe que yo mantengo maquinillas de afeitar en mi pelo me podía cortar con ella.  
>Yo podría cortar su tan malo-<strong>She knows I keep razors in my hair I could cut her.<br>I could cut her so bad****

****Google Translate is my friend.****

**Review and let me know what you think**

**-LSAM**


	2. Sober

Chandeliers

By: LockedSoulsAM

Summary: Have you ever felt so empty and alone that you just wanted it to be over? The feelings of pain, hurt, and depression always coursing through your know how it feels to wake up everyday and pretend that everything is okay. Rachel Berry felt like this all the time until that day on the roof. That day changed everything, maybe even for the better.

**Disclaimer: If I owned Glee I wouldn't be on here. **

**I own this story line and any new characters that come with it. **

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed and followed. **

**All mistakes are my own**

**TriggerWarnings: In Effect almost every chapter.**

**Here's another chapter =)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 2 Sober<p>

It's the sound of slamming doors that wake Rachel at exactly one a.m. At first the 15-year-old is sure she is hearing things and attempts to roll back over to sleep, but when she hears the sounds of cabinets slamming she is sure that she isn't. She's used to this by now.

It's almost expected when her parents would go out.

They'd come home shit faced and angry.

Sometimes the anger would end in Rachel's lack of sleep and a lot of furniture being broken. Rachel hoped and prayed that this was a night of neither.

"You don't love me and you never will!" Rachel hears her Daddy Leroy yell drunkenly.

It's not the first time Rachel has heard these words and all she wants to do is unhear them.

Both of her fathers have drinking problems, it wouldn't be apparent to anyone of the outside world. No, to the outside world, they were a perfect couple raising a perfect little girl.

Only Rachel saw this part of them at night after they would come from hanging out with friends.

At times like this, Rachel tries to avoid both of her fathers and stay in her room for the night. She'd attempt to block out all the cursing and yelling with a song she'd chosen.

Sometimes it helped, other times it was just too much.

"Since you feel that way just get out!" Hiram yells to his husband causing Rachel to flinch and hide under her cocoon of covers.

She doesn't want to cry now. She's done enough of that already. Besides, her Dad Hiram says crying is a sign of weakness. Right now Rachel needed to be strong. If she was going to survive in this house she needed to be strong.

When she was younger, her parents would leave her with a babysitter and that was it. The boy would come and watch her every Tuesday from 8p.m. to 11p.m. Her fathers never noticed when she started acting differently after the third Tuesday. They probably would never care either.

Rachel's parents were less than attentive and more focused on their reputation and the material things in life. Rather than their daughter who was crying out for help right in front of their eyes.

Rachel backs into the wall of her bedroom when she hears the sound of footsteps coming closer.

Most of the time they would leave her alone and continue to argue all over the house. But there were those odd nights where Hiram would call her out of the bedroom and punish her for something she did a few weeks ago and he's just now remembering.

Hearing the footsteps pass her room Rachel jumps into action. She quickly moves over to other side of the room and uses all of her strength to push her small dresser in front of her door. Hopefully this would keep them out.

She doesn't really think she can take a punishment or lecture of any kind tonight. She has school in the morning and she has to wake up at 5:30 a.m. every morning to catch the bus at 7:09. It wasn't convenient but by the time she was awake both of her parents would be at work.

Rachel quickly crawls back into her tiny bed and buries herself in the covers. When she was younger she used to imagine what it would be like if her birth mother were to come and rescue her. Rachel had met the woman a few times in the past but her fathers had always made it clear that Shelby Corcoran was nothing more than a vessel.

They only lived a town apart and the few times Rachel had met her birth mother she was with her fathers and they'd tell her that they would never have a relationship.

Of course Rachel wanted to be happy with her fathers but she couldn't help but feel like she was missing out on something.

Rachel began to get lost in the dream of her mother holding her, only to be pulled right out of it by the sound of glass breaking. She sighs, turning over and pushing herself into the corner of her bed.

She only knows one way to soothe her mind now.

Covering her ears, Rachel begins to quietly sing under her breath the only song that comes to mind.

_"I'm safe,_

_Up high_

_Nothing can touch me,_

"Get Out!" Leroy yells loudly and it almost seems that he has gotten closer.

Rachel pushes herself between her wall and bed and continues to sing louder.

_"But why do I feel this party's over?_

_No pain_

_Inside _

_You're like perfection_

_How do I feel this good sober"_

Rachel can't stop the tears that slip from her cheeks and onto her only pillow. She doesn't even attempt to wipe them away. She continues to sing her song until sleep takes over.

The last thought in her mind as she falls asleep is:

_"Please let tomorrow be better"_

* * *

><p>"2 more years." Rachel stuffs her tiny glove covered hands into the warm pockets of last year's pea coat.<p>

Wrapping her black wool scarf tighter around her neck, Rachel crosses the street leading on the path to her school. Never mind that school is still half a mile away, she has to keep going. She's all out of student bus passes and her fathers forgot to leave her bus fare,_again. _

Rachel tries not to think about how this wouldn't be the first time. Her family isn't as rich as they seem and her fathers usually spend their money on alcohol and their clothes.

Whatever they had over would go to Rachel and this caused her to buy the most affordable clothes she could find.

That would explain why her small closet consisted of clothes from the local thrift store and Salvation Army.

The plaid skirts were less than practical in the bipolar Ohio weather and her animal sweaters were less than fashionable. Of course the slushying took part in her clothing choice but she didn't want to think about that now.

As another city bus passes Rachel for the third time, her heart breaks a little more and it takes all that is within her to keep walking. The walk has become easier since the first time she had to walk back in 9th grade.

In Glee club she would always describe her morning routine as starting off with the elliptical that her daddy bought her for christmas. But it was far from the truth and in reality, Rachel would take these walks often and it kept her in shape. She'd learned to ignore the aching in her feet as the flats she wore were less than supportive for walking a mile to school.

She's noticed a few kids from school drive pass her. She silently thanks the higher powers that none of the Jocks at McKinley High took this route to school. Rachel is afraid to think of what would happen if she ever ran into one of them alone.

Another gust of wind blows Rachel in the face and she curses the wind. She can never catch a break. She continues to walk down the street and the only thing that motivates her to keep going is "2 more years."

2 more years and Rachel would graduate.

2 more years and she would be out of this God Forsaken town known as Lima, Ohio. 2 more years and she could show them all that Rachel Berry is not a loser. Rachel Berry is a star.

Rachel is so lost in her thoughts that she almost walks through an intersection that is at green. A car honks loudly at her and Rachel's head snaps up. She backs up an stands ar the crossing sign.

Rachel doesn't notice when the same car stops and backs up once again.

"Excuse me!" A woman yells from inside of the car." Aren't you Rachel Berry?"

Rachel's eyes come up to meet the woman's inside of the car and she knows who it is now.

It's Santana Lopez and her mom inside of the car.

She can see Santana is clearly annoyed that they stopped but she says nothing.

Her eyes snap back to Mrs. Lopez as she answers. "Yes."

She doesn't know what this woman wants from her.

"Get in it's far too cold and school is too far for you to be walking alone." The woman says and unlocks the doors to her car.

Rachel takes a second to think.

On one hand Mrs. Lopez is a stranger and she doesn't think Santana will appreciate 'Man Hands Berry' getting into her car. On the second-hand, Rachel is freezing and the short skirt she has on is doing nothing to protect her skin from the harsh October winds.

"Come on sweetie or you'll both be late." Mrs. Lopez beckons the girl into her car.

Rachel quickly opens the back door and takes her seat.

"Thank you Mrs. Lopez you didn't have to."

In the front seat Santana rolls her eyes at the other girl.

The 16-year-old is annoyed that her mother always had to be Mother Theresa. The Latina maybe wouldn't have minded if the girl in the backseat was someone other than Rachel Berry but it was just her luck.

"nonsense sweetie." Mrs. Lopez smiles back at Rachel through her rearview mirror. "Any friend of Santana's is a friend of mine. It's too cold for you to be walking out here all alone when I have a car right here."

After sectionals a few weeks ago all the parents at McKinley High knew who Rachel was and they all wanted their kids to be friends with her. Rachel couldn't say the same for the kids.

"Once again thank you, I can't express the amount of gratitude I have for you now." Rachel begins. "It seems I have run out of bus tickets and I just couldn't miss another day of school. Walking was my best option."

"Where are your parents?" Mrs. Lopez immediately asks.

Santana sits up at this. No one really sees that much of Man hands parents and she figured they were ashamed of the girl too. It was taken everything within the girl not to say something offensive to Rachel. Santana knew that her mother would ground her for life if she knew what happened at school.

It wasn't like Santana hated Rachel because she didn't.

She wasn't as mean to Rachel as all the other kids at school but she just couldn't be her friend. You couldn't be popular and hang out with the number one loser in school. It just didn't work like that.

"They are working and probably assumed I had enough to last me through the week." Rachel quickly covered."'ll be sure to give them notice of my lack of bus tickets today after school."

Santana narrowed her eyes and looks back at Rachel for a minute. She could see through the lies even if her mother couldn't. Rachel stares blankly at her for a second before turning away.

Those brown eyes always did something unexplainable to her.

"Where do you live Rachel?" Maribel asks. "It's looks like from where you were walking you live near Lima Heights Adjacent am I right?"

"Yes Mrs. Lopez." Rachel says quietly.

"That's where we used to live once upon a time." Maribel continues. " We live in Lima Heights now and Santana's car will be fixed in a few days. I'm sure she would be opposed to taking you to school, right _mija?"_

"Yea sure." Santana mumbles.

Who knew Berry lived in Lima Heights Adjacent?

Lima Heights Adjacent was the poorer side of Lima and right across the bridge from Lima Heights. It wouldn't take too much for Santana to pick Rachel up for school.

But what would the kids at school say if they saw Santana Lopez driving around with Rachel "Man Hands" Berry?

Santana wouldn't be taking that risk.

"Alright Mami we'll get out here." Santana tells her mother as they approach a block away from school.

"Are you sure?"Maribel looks at her daughter skeptically as she pulls over to let the girls out.

"I'm positive." Santana unbuckled her seat."Gives us _friends _enough time to talk, right Rachel?"

Santana turns to Rachel and glares at her, almost daring her to say otherwise.

Rachel blinks attempting to form a sentence.

"R-R-right Mrs. Lopez you know girl talk."

Maribel nods one time unlocking the doors to her Jeep.

"Bye Girls be safe. Nice meeting you Rachel."

Rachel smiles and waves quickly climbing out of the car.

Santana stands next to Rachel and waves to her mother.

As Maribel's jeep drives farther away, Santana's smile disappears from her face. She looks back at Rachel and rolls her eyes. She tightens her back pack against her back and begins to walk down the street.

"Your mother is really nice, Santana." Rachel races to catch up with the girl.

"Yeah."Santana mutters and continues to walk.

"I didn't know you lived so close to me otherwise I would have" Rachel begins only to be interrupted.

"You would have what?" Santana turns to Rachel."You would have come over? To be friends? Yeah let my mom keep thinking that but NEWSFLASH Berry we aren't and never will be."

Rachel turns her gaze to her feet as she tries to ignore the aching in her heat. She lets Santana continue walking ahead before she begins to walk again.

"I notice you staring at me." Rachel doesn't realize what she says until Santana stops again and stiffly stands there not even bothering to turn around. "I notice you staring all the time."

Before Rachel has time to say anything else, Santana is in her face eyes flashing dangerously.

"Let's get this straight so you better open your elf ears." Santana sneers. " I don't like you at all. I don't stare because the sight of you burns the inside of my eye lids. You are a fugly little midget who nobody likes. Just admit it that's why you lied to my mom huh? Your dads don't even want you there."

Rachel clutches her bag tighter and avoids the slightly taller girl's gaze.

"So I will not repeat myself when I say forget this day and everything that has happened. We are not friends do you hear me? When we get to school continue to avoid me like the plague because that'll be exactly what I do to you." Santana says calmly. "No one wants to be your friend and you should just accept it. Stay away from me loser."

Rachel quickly wipes the tears from her eyes, as she curses herself on the inside for letting Santana's words get to her.

It's not like the girl hasn't said worse.

Santana looks at Rachel one last time before continuing to walk. This time Rachel doesn't even try to catch up with her. Part of what Santana said was true but that didn't mean she had to be so harsh.

Rachel knew people didn't like her.

She knew what people said about her.

Didn't mean it hurt any less when people actually said it to her face.

* * *

><p>"Rachel wait up!"<p>

Rachel closes her eyes at the sound of Jacob Ben Israel calling her name. She hasn't even made it to her locker yet and she has to hurry to class before the first slushie of the day arrives.

"Have you heard about the slushie storm coming your way?" Jacob falls into step with her.

"No." She says quietly.

"I'll tell you when it will happen but you know what you have to do." The boy looks her up and down.

Rachel shivers and eyes the restroom next to them.

"Come on quickly."

They quickly trample into the bathroom before anyone can see them.

Rachel looks at him and then rolls her eyes.

She looks down at her feet shamefully and then back to him. Pleading with him not to make her do this.

"You know our deal." Jacob crosses his arms and looks at her expectantly.

Rachel takes a deep breath as she lifts her shirt halfway.

Jacob slowly comes closer to her using his left hand to pull her into him.

"20 seconds." Rachel whispers out before his chapped lips meet hers.

She can feel his right hand slowly going up her side until he cups a breast.

She counts the seconds quickly in her head as he gropes and kisses her. She whimpers when he squeezes a little too hard. She has to find a new way to get information out of him.

"20!" She pushes him away quickly and fixes her shirt.

He pouts and looks at her through hooded eyes.

"4th hour. The hockey team will be waiting a few feet away from your 4th hour class with 2 slushies each. I suggest you wear a rain coat."

As the bell rings, Jacob takes one last look at her and quickly leaves the bathroom.

Rachel has to keep the bile from escaping her throat as she wipes her mouth free of Jacob's saliva. She steps up to the mirror to check herself. Besides Jacob there is only one person who has touched her like this.

But she can't bring herself to think like that.

She has to figure out how to hide for 4th hour.

* * *

><p>In 2nd hour English, Rachel is too preoccupied with figuring out how to hide. Her teacher Ms. Mills notices and calls on her.<p>

"Rachel since you are paying so much attention I want you to explain the meaning of, _Of Mice and Men, _to the class."

"I'd be surprised if she knew how to read."A kid in the front quips.

Rachel looks down at her papers in front of her then back to Ms. Mills. Of course Rachel knew how to read. She ignores the boy and begins to speak. "Well-"

"Not back there I want you to come to the front of the class and tell us." Ms. Mills motions for Rachel to come and stand in front of the class.

Rachel's heart beats erratically in her chest.

This is like total humiliation.

Rachel was sure that all of her teachers took pleasure in seeing her fail. She was also sure that all the teachers knew she got slushied annually but they all didn't care either. This one of the worse schools to attend.

Rachel slowly stands from her desk and goes to the front of the class. She hears a few snickers and "Loser" covered up with coughs.

Rachel has never been afraid to perform in front of anyone.

She's actually ready for her first Tony speech already.

But having all of these eyes on her she hopes she doesn't choke.

"We're waiting Ms. Berry." Ms. Mills motions to all the eyes that are on her. "Unless you can't do it."

"N-no I can." Rachel looks down at her feet and then up somehow she finds those brown eyes. It doesn't help that they have every class together.

Rachel must have thought too long because Ms. Mills clears her throat loudly.

Rachel takes a deep breath.

"Of Mice and Men is about two migrant workers in California during the Great Depression, George and Lennie. George is and intelligent and cynical man while Lenni is a huge man with big strengths and limited mental abilities. They find a ranch in Soledad and they hope to one day share their own piece of land. Lennie's part of the dream is to tend to the rabbits. Since we have not read the entire story yet I would like not to spoil it for the rest of my peers."

Ms. Mills silently nods her head and lets Rachel go back to sit down. The class is silent also.

Rachel Berry may be a lot of things but she wasn't stupid.

* * *

><p>It's 4th hour and Rachel was relieved to find out that Ms. Pillsbury requested to see her in the counseling office.<p>

"Rachel I'm pretty sure you know what you are in here for right" Ms. Pillsbury takes out a small bottle of hand sanitizer and squirts some into Rachel's hand.

Rachel shakes her head and rubs the sanitizer in.

"Well I have noticed that even though your grades have gotten somewhat better you are still in danger of failing." Emma gives Rachel a sympathetic look. "We may have to transfer you to Horizon."

Rachel quickly shook her head.

Horizon was an alternative school and she didn't think it would look good on her college applications.

"While I wish I didn't have to say this its true." Emma turned her computer screen towards Rachel. "You are in the lowest percentile of the school."

Rachel can't pretend that seeing these grades don't pain her.

She knows she can do better. She's proven them once and she can prove them again.

"Now I've been advised that we need to have another meeting with your parents. If you don't improve then Horizon will be your last option." Emma turns the computer screen back towards her.

"Okay I'll be sure to tell them." Rachel tries to hide the pain from her tone.

"Now I was wondering if you could help out in the school clinic today?" Emma asks. "I know you need the extra money and it wouldn't hurt to miss class one more time."

Rachel looks up at Ms. Pillsbury curiously.

"It may get your mind off of things."

Rachel nods.

It may help a little.

* * *

><p>Later after 4th hour Rachel is happy to figure out that she successfully avoided the slushie storm that was supposed to be for her. That didn't mean that tomorrow wouldn't be worse. But for now working in the clinic would help her avoid them for the rest of the day.<p>

"Santana Lopez they just came in for you."

Rachel peeks her head out the nurse's office to looking into the main room. She can see the back of Santana's and the nurse talking to her.

"I'll just call my assistant in her and she'll bring you everything."Nurse George called to Rachel. "Please bring the eye supplies."

Rachel quickly grabs the things necessary and walks into the main room.

Santana makes eye contact with her and then asks.

"What is she doing here?"

"Ms. Berry is my assistant for the day if that is okay with you." The African-American woman looks at Santana.

Santana says nothing but sits in the chair.

"Rachel I want you to give Santana the allergy eye drops, the allergy pill and her glasses that are on Shelf 2." Nurse George instructs the girl. "I'm going on break if anyone comes in you know what to do."

Rachel wants to protest but before she can open her mouth the woman is gone. Rachel turns back to Santana who is looking at her expectantly.

"Come on Hobbit I don't have all day."Santana snaps.

Rachel jumps into action and grabs the eye drops first.

"Tilt your head back please." She tells Santana all the while holding onto her head.

Santana says nothing but does as she is told.

"Why are you here hobbit? What do you work here?"

Rachel says nothing but slams the eye drop bottle on the nearby counter and fills a small cup of water for the other girl. She pushes a pill and the cup into Santana's hand.

"You do! that is so sad." Santana laughs. "I mean I would have thought you'd be the one in here getting checked. God knows you need it."

"You know no one's here you don't have to act like this." Rachel snaps at the girl.

Santana closes her mouth before taking her pill.

"It's fun."

"What is so fun about making someone feel worthless?" Rachel throws Santana's glasses to her. "Because I already know okay. Just take your stuff and go."

Rachel walks out of the room and back into the nurses office and slams the door.

Santana watches her leave guiltily.

She shouldn't feel guilty. This is how it has always been with Rachel. She doesn't know anything else. But that feeling in her stomach tells her differently.

* * *

><p>Rachel breathes a sigh of relief.<p>

School is over for the day and she has made it without being slushied. Apparently the higher powers were listening to her prayers.

She happily makes her way to her locker and opens it.

She begins to stuff all of her books into her backpack when something catches her eye.

Looking around, Rachel has to wonder how someone got into her locker. She reaches her hand inside and pulls out the offending object.

It's a stack of student bus tickets Rachel realizes. She counts 50 in total. These will have her set for up to two weeks.

Looking around again she quickly smiles and closers her locker. Nothing could ruin her day...

But as she turns away from her locker and begins to walk down the hall she is met with the cold rush of a grape slushie being thrown in her face.

Nothing could ruin her day except that.

It was too good to be true. Of course Rachel Berry couldn't go one school day without being slushied.

Not one single day.

**A/N: Review please. =)**


	3. A Part of The Team

Chandeliers

By: LockedSoulsAM

Summary: Have you ever felt so empty and alone that you just wanted it to be over? The feelings of pain, hurt, and depression always coursing through your know how it feels to wake up everyday and pretend that everything is okay. Rachel Berry felt like this all the time until that day on the roof. That day changed everything, maybe even for the better.

**Disclaimer: If I owned Glee I wouldn't be on here. **

**I own this story line and any new characters that come with it. **

**A/N: Thank you for the kind reviews and I'm glad you are liking the story so far. This was supposed to be updated on Tuesday but life got in the way. **

**Enjoy=)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 3 A Part of The Team<p>

As Rachel made her way down the stairs, early Wednesday morning, she heard noises that she hadn't heard in a while.

"Rachel you're awake." Leroy cheerfully looked up from the pot of grits he was stirring. "Come sit."

"I'm always awake at this time but of course you wouldn't be aware of that." Rachel mutters as she takes her spot at the table.

"What was that?"Hiram looks up from his phone.

"Nothing Dad." Rachel puts on that fake smile.

Rachel sits silently and has to wonder when it was the last time that they ate breakfast together as family. With her fathers busy schedules they rarely saw each other. Which meant Rachel was essentially living alone.

The house was basically hers and she had to fend for herself. The 15-year-old didn't know how to cook and most of her money went to clothes. She'd tried getting a job but no one was hiring.

Somewhere deep down Rachel knew that her fathers were trying to take care of her, but the other part told her that they just didn't want to be around her. So you could say it was definitely surprising to see them here this morning.

"I'm going to be late for the bus if I don't hurry." Rachel eyed the plate that her daddy set in front of her.

"Don't worry we'll be taking you to school this morning." Leroy sits in front of her.

"Apparently our dear daughter isn't doing well in school like we thought." Hiram sets his phone down. "It's a shame because you know what we talked about right?"

"Yes dad." Rachel lowers her head in shame. "It's just I-"

"Another excuse?" Hiram interrupts her. "Since you always have an excuse for everything, tell me why I shouldn't come over there and whoop your ass now?"

Rachel shivers in fear and tries to keep the tears from coming to her eyes. Her parents weren't very good at parenting but they sure knew how to discipline.

"Because Rachel, I remember I specifically told you that if I had to come up to that school one more time I would whip you right there in front of all your little friends." Hiram's tone changed.

Rachel wanted to remark that she didn't have friends but she knew that was a surefire way to get smacked. She dared to glance over at her daddy who was silently drinking his tea.

"We work our asses off to be able to put a roof over your head and food in your belly and this is what you do?"Hiram looks to Rachel expectantly."So when we go up to this school today Rachel I hope you have a brand new attitude because I'm not going to deal with it anymore.

"Yes Dad." Rachel says quietly and continues to eat her food.

She doesn't bother to mention that her grades are low because of all the days she has missed or that she hasn't had a proper meal in the longest of times. She simply eats her food and stays quiet. She doesn't know these people at all.

Her fathers were the most loving of parents when she was younger and when they were sober.

"We will be picking you up after school. " Leroy finally spoke up from his steaming mug of tea." Don't bother to go to your little practice either."

"But Glee Club meetings are mandatory." Rachel sits up straighter. "I have to go please."

"No." Hiram says sternly.

Rachel's eyes water because she knows when he says 'no' its the end of discussion. What her father says goes and there is no point in trying to fight him on anything unless she wanted a smack to the face or anything else.

Her father gave what he called corporal punishment.

He'd spanked or 'whipped' Rachel when she was younger, most of the time it was because of her mouth or something of that sort. As she got older his punishments became more harsh, almost borderline child abuse.

Rachel had plenty opportunities to speak up but she didn't in fear of the consequences.

Rachel loved her parents like every child did but she didn't understand why she didn't receive the same love. She tried so hard in all aspects of her life but it seemed that she was unlovable. Her parents seemed to be wrapped up in their own lives and work to see that their daughter was breaking right in front of them.

All Rachel had was her dreams and she would hold onto them for dear life.

* * *

><p>"Mr. and Mr. Berry I'm so glad that you could be here today." Emma Pillsbury awkwardly shook the hands of Rachel's fathers.<p>

"Unfortunately we can't say the same." Hiram sits.

"Now I didn't want Rachel to miss out on anymore class so that's where she is." Emma explained.

Leroy nods while Hiram clasps his hands together.

"Now as you already know what we are here for I will get right into it. Rachel is in danger of failing sophomore year. She's made up all of her credits from freshman year but her sophomore credits aren't going to be well if she continues on like this. It is still pretty early in the year,so Rachel has plenty of time to get everything together. " Emma showed the two parents Rachel's transcripts.

"And how do you suggest she does that?"Hiram looks up from the piece of paper.

"Tutoring during study hall and maybe some days before school?" Emma looks to them. "I really think Rachel would benefit from it. I would also like for her to make it to school on time."

Hiram and Leroy visibly shift in their seats.

"Me and my husband are usually at work by the time she is up so we wouldn't know about that." Hiram speaks. "I assure you if we knew none of this would be happening. We just assumed that Rachel is old enough to take care of her responsibilities accordingly. We will certainly be talking with her later tonight."

"I'm sorry I know this may be a sore subject but it seems that you two are having a hard time taking care of Rachel. Is there any way that Rachel's mother could take her in?" Emma knew she had just crossed a line at the sight of the men's faces.

"No absolutely not." Hiram practically yelled. "She's our daughter and that woman should have nothing to do with her. She didn't want Rachel the first time around."

"I also believe that is none of your concern."If the vein popping out on Leroy's forehead was any indication, they weren't very happy she asked.

"I'm very sorry I asked." Emma retreated. " But Rachel is really struggling and I thought it would do her well for a new environment. She's mentioned her mother a few times in passing but I've never asked her to explain further."

"There is no need to." Leroy lifted his chin.

"Once again I'm sorry." Emma apologized. "Rachel is a very smart girl and I know she has the potential to succeed."

"Well the only concern you should have for _Rachel," _Hiram sneered "Is whether she is getting to school. I believe we are done here."

Before the shocked counselor could open her mouth to speak, the two men were out of the door. She lowers her hands down to her desk and shakes her head. Something wasn't right about what he said. It didn't sit right with her.

But as she remembered shaking their hands, the thoughts left her mind as she began to continuously scrub her hands in hand sanitizer.

* * *

><p>As Rachel walked pass the counseling office for the day, she wondered what her parents said to Ms. Pillsbury. They usually never discussed things with her, everything they did resulted in yelling. Rachel couldn't remember the last time they were nice to her just because. She can't remember the last time anyone was genuinely nice to her since she was little.<p>

"Hey fugly how about a nice drink to cool you off." A jock yelled as he tipped his slushie cup over Rachel's head.

No one seemed fazed to see the girl slushied as she tried to wipe the cold substance from her eyes. Before she could even step two feet towards the bathroom a foot slipped out and tripped her. Rachel harshly fell to her knees as her balance was lost.

"Nice going bird brain." The person in question laughed and walked away.

Rachel didn't even know who is was but she didn't care.

None of these people knew her in this school yet they didn't like her. They pushed her, called her names, and threw slushies in her face. No one ever really tried to get to know Rachel Berry. They probably never would.

Rachel tried to ignore the pain in her knees as she shakily stood to her feet. The slushie , after already seeping through her shirt, began to dry and stick to her skin.

Rachel could feel a sob in her throat as she walked, that fall hurt more than it seemed.

On her way to the bathroom, the tiny girl was bumped so many times she thought her shoulders would fall of. She immediately stepped over to the mirror in front of her and slipped off her coat.

There was a small bruise on her shoulder where the nudging and the pushing hit the hardest. She slowly reached tan fingers out to touch it. Pulling away with a hiss, Rachel slipped the cardigan back over her shoulders.

_"Attention Glee Kids there will be a meeting during your 5th period class. All Glee kids meet in the choir room for an emergency meeting." A voice over the P.A. system boomed. The voice was one the girl has never heard before but it was pleasant. _

Her fathers didn't say exactly that she couldn't go to Glee during school. It wouldn't be exactly breaking the rules.

Rachel quickly cleans herself the best she can and exits the bathroom. Despite the newly forming bruises on her knees she walked as fast as she could to Glee. If she didn't hurry someone would take her seat in the back.

Rachel liked singing but sometimes she just liked to be in the back.

* * *

><p>"So what's this about Mr. Schue?" Puck ask as he sat beside Rachel. He didn't exactly want to but he had no other choices as every other seat was filled.<p>

Rachel tried to pretend that she didn't feel the boy flinch when he sat next to her. She didn't really trust jocks, or anyone of his stature.

"Kids today we will be doing something different." Mr. Schuester clapped his hands to get the attention of the other kids.

After everyone quieted down and all eyes were on him, he began. "Today we have someone coming in to talk to us and work with us..."

"Why?" Kurt spoke up. "I mean we are already good why do we need someone to work with us?"

"Yes I'm all for it but I don't really think we need any pep talks right now." Mercedes chimed in.

"It doesn't matter she'll be here in about five..."

Before Will had time to finish his sentence, a woman with blonde hair blue eyes and a goofy but endearing smile stepped into the room.

"Hello all I'm Holly Holiday and I'm here to be your peer-to-peer mentor." Holly strode in confidently to stand next to WIll.

"What's a pear mentor?" Finn asked.

"It's peer you idiot." Santana smacked him upside the head.

"Ouch."The boy cried holding on to the back of his head.

"Santana." Mr. Schuester scolded the girl.

Santana folder her arms and leaned back into her seat.

"He shouldn't be so stupid."

Will tried to ignore the spanish expletives that were coming from the Latina's mouth. The 16-year-old sure did have a potty mouth.

"Anyway," Holly focused the attention back to her. "A peer-to-peer mentor is someone who comes in and helps students work to better understand each other. Help them use all of the tools they need to succeed."

"Like a shrink?" Quinn asked.

"Not necessarily. I'm certified in many things including the Brazilian art of Jiu Jitsu." Holly did a small move." But I'm not a therapist. I can answer any of your questions about me in time. But I'm here for you. To help."

Her eyes moved over each student's one by one.

"Now if you all could introduce yourselves. " Will piped. "Name, Age and with Mike."

Mike began to speak. " Well-"

"Stand up please sir." Holly interrupted.

The boy tried not to roll his eyes as he stood up.

No kid liked to stand up and talk.

"I'm Mike Chang, Sixteen and a sophomore."

As Mike sat, Tina stood and after her went Puck.

Finally everyone had introduced themselves except one.

"Excuse me can you please stand up for me sweets?" Holly directed her question to Rachel.

Rachel, who had been lost in her own thoughts since Holly stepped into the room, looked up at the teacher. "Me?" She asked quietly.

"Of course you are a part of the team aren't you?" Holly smiled softly at her.

"Yes." Rachel slowly stood to her feet.

No one commented on the bruised state of her knees.

They figured she was just a big klutz who couldn't stand on her own two feet.

"Go on." Holly gently urged.

Rachel looked at all of her team mates whose eyes were on her then back to Holly and Mr. Schue.

"I-I-I'm Rachel Berry and..."Rachel began quietly.

She didn't really have it in her to speak louder anymore.

Her voice never seemed to be heard anyway.

"Hold On." Holly held up a hand.

She tried to ignore the fact that the small girl's name seemed familiar. She'd heard it before but she couldn't remember from where. "I know you could speak louder than that baby girl. Come on where is that big voice of yours?"

"In the trash where the rest of her should be." Someone muttered.

"Come on I know you have a voice." Holly looked into the younger girl's eyes. "Now who are you?"

Rachel tried to ignore the sting of tears coming to her eyes.

She felt as if she was being singled out. Holly hasn't even been here a whole hour and they are already picking on her. Rachel looked into Ms. Holiday's eyes and she could see the woman urging her to continue but louder.

"I'm Rachel Berry." Rachel found her self speaking up." I'm 15 and I'm a sophomore."

"Nice." Holly smiled again. "See I told you. That wasn't so hard."

"May I please sit?" Rachel let out quickly.

Right now she didn't like all of the eyes on her.

"Yes Rachel." Will answered.

The rest of the kids rolled their eyes.

Leave it to Berry to make something as easy as introducing yourself, an obstacle course.

"Now Kids I want you to get into a circle." Holly clapped her hands together." C'mon I'm getting old."

The kids slowly pulled their chairs down from the gliders and onto the main floor until they were sitting in the shape of a circle.

Will and Holly pulled up seats into the circle too.

"Now for a month I will be here helping you become a team. You will know each other from the inside and out. A team is a family. You must know each other's weaknesses' so that you can help each other out while you are here. Understood?" Holly looked to see if they understood.

Every student silently nodded their head.

"I don't understand why we have to be a team. We all know each other." Santana grumbled.

"Quinn whats Brittany's middle name?" Holly asked.

"Susan." Quinn quickly answered.

"It's like Britney Spears but instead Brittany S. Pearce." Brittany smiled blankly. "But Brittany S-Pearce I'm way hotter."

Ignoring that comment Holly continued.

"Mike what's Noah's favorite video game?"

"It's a tie between Mario party and Call of Duty." Mike answered.

All eyes went to Puck curiously.

"What?" Puck shrugged in defense. "I like dropping the little bananas to win."

Everyone rolled their eyes and turned their attention back to Holly.

"Okay Tina what's Rachel's favorite musical?" Holly looked over to the Asian girl.

Tina silently looked down at her hands.

"I don't know."

Rachel knew that none of them would know.

They didn't care enough to know.

"It's _Funny Girl_." Santana spoke up quietly.

"What was that Santana?" Will asked.

"I said it's _Funny Girl_." Santana sat up straighter in her seat. " Rachel's favorite musical is _Funny Girl _by Barbra Streisand or something like that."

Rachel tried to pretend that, Santana knowing _Funny Girl_ is her favorite musical didn't make her happy. But it did at least maybe some one listened to her old selves' rambling and rants.

"Hmm." Holly hummed an acknowledgement."Do you see what I mean? You all know each other because maybe you're in the same clique or maybe you've attended the same school since Kindergarten. I'm the type of person who likes to break barriers. So what we will be doing for the next few weeks is getting to know each other."Holly explained to the students.

She could see a few of them roll their eyes and shift in their seats. This only caused her to speak louder.

"You all have a say in what we talk about." Holly looked over to Will. "But we will be talking."

"Why do we have to do this again?" Finn raised his hand.

"Well last week I was at Carmel High and Vocal Adrenaline was fantastic."Holly began. "They were a team and they worked together. Not to mention everyone respected each other and their coach."

Will shuddered as he listened Holly speak about Coach Corcoran. That woman was a venomous being to deal with.

She was a great leader but she was all for no nonsense. Will was more of a free will leader.

"Before Regionals in December you all will know each other inside and out." Holly spoke sternly. "Understood?"

The students silently nodded their heads.

They didnt know this woman or what she was about.

But they understood that Vocal Adrenaline was a way better school than theirs and their musical choir was one of the best in the country.

They needed to work together if they wanted to win.

"Great now you're all dismissed." Holly's demeanor changed as she smiled. " See you next."

The kids silently collected their things and filed out of the classroom. Rachel was the last one out of the room as she tried to hurry onto her next class of the day.

* * *

><p>"Hey Rachel over here."Quinn called to her.<p>

Rachel tried to hide her surprised expression as she stepped over to Quinn and the other kids. Quinn had actually called Rachel by her first name and she knew the girl was up to something, they all were.

"We were thinking of going on a ride and thought we'd want to include you." Puck informed her.

"I think I should really get to class." Rachel pulled her bag closer to her as she stepped around them.

"You said you wanted to be a part of the team right?" Santana spoke up from behind her.

Rachel stopped in her tracks and closed her eyed.

She silently nodded but didn't turn back to the kids.

"Then come with us we need you." Quinn spoke.

This is where they got her.

All Rachel wanted was to feel included and wanted.

This was her chance and she could not miss out on it now.

"Okay I'll come but we have to be back before school let's out."

Puck smirked. "Don't worry where we are going isn't very far."

Rachel smiled back and followed the kids out of the back doors of the school.

Quinn, Puck and Santana piled into the boy's truck.

While Rachel, Kurt, Mercedes and the other Glee kids piled into the back.

* * *

><p>They had two stops, one being the local dollar store that sold just about everything they would need.<p>

The next stop was about 20 minutes at the most away from Lima, in the next town over. Carmel High School auditorium to be exact.

"Guys where are we?" Rachel asked as they pulled up to the back of the giant high school.

"Paying our competition a little visit." Puck said from the front.

Rachel tried to ignore the sick feeling in her stomach.

This would not work out well for her in the end.

"Come on grab something and be quiet." Quinn whispered as they ducked into the auditoriums outside entrance.

"How did you even know this would be open?" Kurt whispered out.

"I know a guy." Puck whispered haughtily.

By that he meant he paid Jacob Ben Israel to do some snooping.

"Now we have the next 20 minutes to trash this place completely."Santana began. "We are going to show them who they are messing with."

Rachel didn't think that now was the time to point out that they were going about this the wrong way.

"Grab something and go nuts." Puck reached in his duffel bag and threw a can of shaving cream to each of his teammates.

"Who are we going to make shave?" Brittany asked.

"No one Brittany we just spray it somewhere." Santana informed her.

"Oh okay." Brittany smiled brightly and skipped off to another part of the auditorium.

"Hey Man- I mean Berry." Puck called to her. "Come do the stage."

Rachel swallowed down the bad feelings in her throat and climbed onto the stage. She quickly grabbed a few rolls of tissue and threw them around the carelessly.

She listened as everyone began laughing and just throwing stuff everywhere. This was the first time she felt like a normal kid.

She peeked over at Santana as the girl dumped toothpaste all over the seats. Tina was pouring glitter all over the lights while Mike was shaking some sort of cheese onto the Judge's table.

"Guys we have to hurry." Quinn whispered from her spot on the stage.

"I hear some thing." Mercedes shushed them.

Everyone stood stiffly to listen as they heard talking and the clacking of heels.

"Oh shit!"Everyone whispered out simultaneously.

"Guys let's go." Puck was the first to run.

Rachel had never run so fast in her life.

As they all piled into the truck and quickly ran off, the tiny girl couldn't help but laugh. She didn't even notice when she dropped one of her hall passes on the floor of the auditorium.

The adrenaline was pumping in her veins and all she could do was look at her team mates and laugh. They had just gotten away with something major. Barely, but they did.

She finally felt a part of the team as they laughed along with her. Mercedes was wiping some of the shaving cream from Kurt's face as Tina snuggled into Mike.

They did the crime as a team.

Words couldn't describe how furious Shelby Corcoran was as she stepped into her auditorium. She'd seen the back stage door close when she stepped in and that's when she knew something was up.

Furiously stepping deeper into the auditorium, you could practically see the steam coming from the woman's ears. To say that the auditorium was trashed was an understatement. This was over a $1,000 dollars in damage. They could pay it off within the week but that wasn't the point. She would have to cancel practice and this meant she would have to spend more time out of her day with getting her kids to clean this up.

As she carefully stepped over some of the mess in the auditorium, she had to wonder who would dare mess with her team. Didn't they know who she was?

Stepping on a piece of paper, Shelby almost tripped as her raging blue eyes looked away from the mess and down to her feet. She quickly unfolded the small piece of paper and read it:

_"RB to the counseling office."_

As she read over the paper her eyes settled on the logo of the pass. WMHS. "William McKinley High School." Shelby whispered out angrily.

"Coach Corcoran?" Jesse St. James called to her questioningly.

Shelby turned to see all of her Vocal Adrenaline kids staring back at her. She could see that they were assessing the damages.

"Clean this up." She yelled to them. "I'm going for a drive."

Shelby stepped past her students to exit the auditorium.

"rehearsal is canceled."

Shelby's students stepped out of her way as she stormed past them. They almost felt sorry for the people who did this. Almost. But not more sorry than they felt for themselves at the moment. They had to clean all of this up.

Shelby stormed into her office and quickly grabbed her jacket, purse and keys. She's going to McKinley to pay a visit to the principal and this_ RB _person.

They won't know what hit them when she's done with them.

**A/n: So Review please? **

**-LSAM**


	4. Eyes Wide Shut

Chandeliers

By: LockedSoulsAM

Summary: Have you ever felt so empty and alone that you just wanted it to be over? The feelings of pain, hurt, and depression always coursing through your veins. To know how it feels to wake up everyday and pretend that everything is okay. Rachel Berry felt like this all the time until that day on the roof. That day changed everything, maybe even for the better.

**Disclaimer: If I owned Glee I wouldn't be on here. **

**I own this story line and any new characters that come with it. **

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who has favorited, followed and reviewed. **

**Just Let Me Be Legally Blonde- I'm still trying to figure out if Rachel is going to live with Shelby. Just know that it won't be easy. A St. Berry story? I'll have to think it over. But relationships for Rachel is far off. I'll be sure to keep that in mind though. **

**ComplexStatus- Rachel being ignored is something that I kind of wanted to bring from the show and explore more of it. The staff at McKinley seem not to care as much as they should, including Emma. They don't want to interfere or simply don't care enough. I think soon enough someone will set them straight. Maybe a certain Mama Bear.**

**If I don't reply to your review most of the time it will be answered throughout the chapter. I really appreciate you guys giving my story a chance. Thank you. **

**Enjoy =)**

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><p>Chapter 4- Eyes Wide Shut<p>

Pulling back up at McKinley High, the conversations died down, as Puck put his truck into park. Everyone understood how serious the situation was. It was fun for a good laugh but if the Vocal Adrenaline coach found out it was them that trashed her auditorium, they could face some serious charges.

"Now none of you answer anything if they ask us any questions."Puck looks back at everyone.

Everyone nodded their head in agreement.

"We were all in the auditorium practicing for a surprise number for Mr. Schue if anyone asks." Quinn speaks up.

"I'm with it." Mercedes spoke as she stepped down from the back of the truck. "But we all have to be. If one goes down we all do."

"I agree." Kurt followed.

"Yea yea." Santana rolled her eyes. "All for one and one for all."

"We made it just in time for 7th hour and I got passes for us from Jewfro." Puck passed them out to each of the glee kids."Snitches get stitches remember that."

Rachel was the last to get a pass and Puck held it as he looked into her eyes to assert his point.

"I-I understand." Rachel averts his gaze.

Was it really that easy?

Surely someone would ask questions right?

Rachel walks into the school just as a Black Range Rover pulls into an empty parking space and cuts off.

* * *

><p>The woman inside was more than angry. Obviously these kids didn't know who she was if they thought messing with her team was okay. They didn't go against the kids at Sectionals. Regionals would be their battlefield and Shelby would make sure that her kids pummeled these little punks.<p>

Taking out her purse and keys, Shelby power walks to the front doors of McKinley. Swinging the doors open, she stomped in as a gust of wind decided to blow her hair behind her. She was the image of a very angry woman and all the students knew it as they parted like the Red Sea.

She was Moses and a woman on a mission.

* * *

><p>"Hey Rachel can I talk to you for a second?" Emma beckons Rachel to her office once she catches the girl in the hallway. This was her chance to talk to the sophomore student about some things.<p>

Rachel stopped in her tracks to look at the redheaded woman. She looked pass Emma to see that Karofsky and Azimio were down the hall with slushies in their hands, undoubtedly waiting for her.

Not really up for a slushie facial today, or any other day for that matter, Rachel nods once and follows Emma into her office.

"So I assume this is about what you discussed with my fathers this morning?" Rachel sets her bag down in the chair beside her.

Smoothing the invisible wrinkles from her skirt, she sits nervously. Some times her fathers didn't always listen to what her teachers or anyone else was saying. They were always right because she was their daughter and no one else's.

Emma makes sure her door closes with a click before sitting down. She hands Rachel some sanitizer before speaking.

"Yes it's a little what we talked about."

"Any news?" Rachel squeezes a penny sized portion of hand sanitizer to her hands. "They weren't rude were they?"

"No, No." Emma assures her. "Well-yes but It's fine. They just seemed very defensive. I asked them about your mother and that didn't go over well."

"Why would you ask about her?" Rachel's brows furrow.

What did her mother have to do with anything?

She'd only met the woman briefly two times.

Surely wasn't enough for the woman to be mentioned in a meeting with her parents, that's for sure.

Rachel didn't resent the woman but she always wanted to know why. Why was she given up? Why wasn't she wanted? All of those questions and more ran through her head every single day of her life. If given the chance Rachel would ask these questions. Most of all she'd ask for a hug. Just for her Mom to hold her one time.

"It's just...you've mentioned her a few times." Emma responded. "When you mentioned the surrogate that your fathers used I just wondered about her."

"Well there is no need to mention her in front of my fathers." Rachel sat up a little straighter. Letting her pride get to her. "I imagine they weren't too happy about you asking of her?"

"Not exactly." Emma replied.

Rachel nodded her head. Of course they wouldn't be too happy about that. They were her fathers and her providers. They were also the only ones who wanted her,questionably. She wouldn't disrespect them by going to look for her birth mother. The woman had several opportunities to contact her and she hasn't. Rachel took that as all the closure she needed.

"But it's unimportant for now. I called you in here to discuss your grades. Your dads and I agreed that you need a tutor-"

"A tutor?" Rachel was not happy about this. Not one bit. "How is a tutor going to help me?"

"Well if you meet with that person every day during study hall and some days before school or maybe after Glee, I think it would help. Your fathers agreed that you would be coming to school on time from now on." Emma explained. "I know just the right person to be your tutor too. They have all of your classes so it'll be easy."

"Who?" Rachel tries to go through a list of people that she shared a class with but her mind went seemingly blank. If she would have thought a little harder she would've known exactly who it was.

"Santana Lopez seems to be passing all of her classes with high marks." Emma began. "She shares practically the same schedule as you and she is more than qualified to be your tutor."

"Santana Lopez?" Rachel sputtered over the name. "Santana Lopez as in Crazy Latina Cheerio with razors in her hair?"

"Well..."Emma tried to ignore the comment about the razors. "I guess that is the one."

"You mean the Santana Lopez who has hated me, and called me names, and pushed me around since the 7th grade?" Rachel continued. "Oh no she'd never go for it and I don't need anyone to know how much of a failure I am."

Rachel threw herself back into the chair and folded her arms. How could Ms. Pillsbury even suggest this? It's a known fact around the school that no one liked Rachel Berry. Surely all the staff knew because half of them didn't like her anyway.

"Don't be so sure." Emma tried to calm her down. "I've already talked to Santana and she agreed. On one condition."

Rachel relaxed her arms and calmed a little.

"What's that?"

"I have no clue but you would have to ask her." Emma answered. "Your first session is next Tuesday after school. She has Cheerios after school so she'll come straight to your house. I hope it was okay for me to give her your information?"

"It's fine I guess." Rachel says begrudgingly.

"Fine It's-" Emma stops talking as she watches a brunette woman stalk down the hallway in anger. She wondered who this woman was and why was she so angry.

"What?"

"Nothing I just saw Jacob Ben Israel." Emma smiles down at Rachel. "So are we clear about the tutoring arrangements?"

"Yes crystal." Rachel grabbed her bag to walk out.

She's not too happy about having Santana Lopez out of all the kids in the school to tutor her. Santana could use the information she got from Ms. Pillsbury to tell the school. On the plus side at least it wasn't Karofsky or Azimio,on second thought she doesn't think the two giant idiots knew how to read. Santana also knew her favorite musical when Holly had asked. Given Rachel didn't know how the girl knew, but she did.

Coming out of the counseling office she spots Santana and Brittany by their lockers. Maybe she could talk to her for a minute. Just to thank her for the tutoring. Of course it's the polite thing to do.

* * *

><p>"You where is the principal's office?" Shelby demands from a scrawny kid with glasses and red hair.<p>

"Are you sure I couldn't show you to some where more cozy and quiet?" The boy leers as he looks her up and down.

"Listen Kid." Shelby grabs the boy by his collar and brings him a little closer. "I don't have time to play your little perverted games. I could snap you like a twig and feed you to those imaginary fish you seem to be swimming with. I came here for something and I damn well better get it. Now show me to the principal's office."

"As you wish malady." Jacob untangled himself from Shelby's perfectly manicured hands. He had to say this woman reminded him of someone but he couldn't put his finger on it. "Right this way."

Shelby fixed her blouse and recomposed herself.

"Thank you."

"No problem. Did you know that some kids here would consider you a total milf?" Jacob says to her as begins to walk.

Shelby growls and signals for him to keep walking.

"No and stop talking to me." She barks.

Noticing the young creepy boy giving her body side glances She growls again. "Eyes forward Annie." She snaps.

Jacob doesn't say another word. He continues to walk her to Principal Figgins office.

"May I help you?" Macy the secretary asks.

"I'm here for the principal of this god forsaken school." Shelby speaks. "I don't care what meetings he has, if he doesn't want to be disturbed or what he's eating for lunch. I want to meet with him now and I'm trusting that you will make this happen."

Macy wears a shocked expression on her face as she motions for Shelby to follow her to the back. Shelby doesn't respond when Jacob waves to her. She is too angry and she is trying to keep her anger in check unless she has to unleash it.

"Macy I thought I told you this is my music time."Shelby can hear as she is met with the sight of a foreign man sitting on the ground barefoot playing his sitar. She rolls her eyes as she takes in his relaxed state. What kind of school leader was this?

"I'm sorry but she's your problem." Macy put her hands up in surrender as she backs out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"Are you the principal?" Shelby asks standing behind a chair.

"Yes how may I help you?" The man struggles to stand as he sets his sitar behind his desk.

"My auditorium was trashed by students who I believe attend your school. But you see principal-" Shelby averts her gaze to look at his name plate. "Figgins I had to come all the way here and cancel my rehearsals. With Regionals next month I assume you know how important it is to give my kids enough time to practice. Without a place to practice we have nothing. Now If I would have been in my right mind upon seeing the dump that is now our auditorium I would have called the authorities. But I have something that I believe belongs to one of the students involved."

Shelby takes the hall pass from her Gucci bag and sets it on his desk. She folds her arms watching him.

"Knock Knock." Someone knocks and enters the room.

"Sue you can't be here this is a private meeting." Figgins steps from his behind his desk.

"Doesn't look so private to me." Sue quips as she comes to stand beside Shelby. "Who are you?"

Shelby says nothing but glares dangerously at Sue.

"Ouch who pissed in her Cheerios this morning?"Sue muttered unfazed by Shelby's harsh glare. "What's wrong with the Ice Queen here?"

This time Sue directs her question to Figgins.

"Well Sue, apparently some of the kids destroyed her auditorium at." Figgins passed the hall pass to Sue. "What school is it?"

"Carmel High." Shelby keeps the glare on her face.

"Ah, Carmel High." Figgins looks to Sue. "Any idea who it may be?"

"You know excuse me but I thought you were the principal." Shelby unfolds her arms to lean against the chair. "All I ask for is some answers before I get on the phone with my lawyer."

"Calm your tits Ice Queen." Sue says. "I can help you."

"Who are you again?" Shelby doesn't take too kindly to Sue.

"I'm your worst nightmare." Sue crumples the pass. "4 times Nationals winning title holding Coach of the Cheerios cheerleading team Sue Sylvester."

"Cheerleading competitions is a thing now?" Shelby rolls her eyes and doesn't take Sue's offered hand.

"I like her."Sue smiles as Figgins hums in acknowledgement. "I'll show you to who you're looking for. You might be wanting to call the Glee Club to meet in that hell hole of a choir room."

Not sure if she should follow Sue, Shelby looks to Figgins and glares at him. Surely he would be coming too.

Figgins makes a quick announcement over the P.A. before racing after Sue and Shelby. He sure as hell didn't want to get sued today.

* * *

><p>"Santana?" Rachel asks as she steps up to the girl checking herself out in the locker. The tiny girl doesn't really have a loud voice and she is unsure about talking to the other girl. Last time they talked Rachel ended up getting an earful.<p>

"What do you want hobbit?" Santana closed her locker to see Rachel standing beside her with her school books pressed tightly to her chest. Almost as if the girl was afraid of her.

'Good. She should be.' Santana says in her head.

She liked it that way.

"I just wanted to say thank you for agreeing to be my tutor." Rachel began nervously. "I know how much of a nuisance I can be and I know that your time is precious. I assure you that it won't be wasted. I really appreciate what you are doing for me. Ms. Pillsbury and apparently my fathers think it would be beneficial to have a tutor to raise my grades. Now I don't know how much Emma has told you but-"

"Ok Hold on." Santana held her hand for Rachel to stop talking. This is the most she has heard the tiny girl say in a long time. "First of all who gave you permission to approach me?"

Rachel closes her mouth and lowers her head. She just assumed since Santana was tutoring her that the girl would be a tad bit nicer to her. Apparently she thought wrong. Struggling to find an answer, Rachel opens and closes her mouth a few times.

"Second why couldn't you just say thank you and walk away? Things always have to be difficult with you, Berry."Santana lowers her hand now that she's gotten Rachel's attention. "The only reason I agreed to tutor you was because I'm getting extra credits in each of my classes to do it. Now you better pass or it's going to be you and me."

"Of course." Rachel tries to hide her smile.

"Santana doesn't teach dumb kids." Santana pokes Rachel in the chest. "You Berry are not dumb. Maybe a little slow but you'll catch on. But I have some rules."

"O-o of course." Rachel nods obediently while rubbing the spot on her chest that the older girl poked.

"No talking to me outside of the school library. No tweeting, instagramming or facebooking about our sessions. No singing during tutoring and most of all no excessive talking." Santana listed while Rachel listened intently. "Most of all remember one thing."

"What?" Rachel found herself asking.

"We are not friends Berry." Santana speaks with such venom that Rachel's heart starts beating in her chest a little.

"Of course I totally understand." Rachel lowers her eyes back down to her shoes. She was stupid to think that they could ever be. "Not like I would want you to compromise your spot on the food chain."

Rachel mutters the last part thinking Santana wouldn't hear her.

"What?" The Latina asks.

"Nothing. Not friends I get it." Rachel gives a small wave and begins to walk away. "See you Tuesday."

Santana tries to pretend that she doesn't feel an ounce of guilt as she watches Rachel take a few steps down the hallway. Like she has to watch her back every step of the day. At any time of the day the girl could be slushied, dumped into a trash can, or pushed into a locker.

_"Attention all Glee Club members report to the choir room now. I _repeat now."

The girls stop what they are doing as they hear Figgins over the P.A. system. Rachel turns back to Santana to see the same look of panic on her face.

"You didn't tell anyone did you?" Santana hisses.

"No of course not." Rachel knows that Santana knew she wouldn't have anyone to tell in the first place. Which kind of defeated the purpose of the older girl asking her. "Who would I tell?"

"I don't know your little gremlin friends." Santana hisses as she walks in front of Rachel. "You all stick together under bridges and shit."

"Ok first those are trolls and I resent that." Rachel rolls her eyes. "You're only like 3- 4 inches taller than me."

Santana rolls her eyes as they step in front of the choir room where the rest of the kids are already waiting.

"Who snitched?" Puck whispers in case any of the people in the choir room could hear them.

All of the students shrug and look to Rachel.

"It wasn't me I swear." She raises her hands in surrender.

Of course they wouldn't trust her to keep this a secret.

"It doesn't matter now." Quinn gets their attention. "We all stick to the plan and no one gets in trouble. Deal?"

Everyone nods and makes their way inside of the choir room. They are met with Mr. Schue, Holly, Sue and a woman who they don't know. There were different looks on their faces as all the students sat down. Rachel didn't notice when Kurt slipped something inside of her bag.

"Alright guys I know you all may be wondering why we called you here for a second time today." Will starts.

Shelby snorts and crosses her arms.

Holly noticing her friend's angry state lays a hand on the woman's forearm.

"Now my friend here is Shelby Corcoran and she is the coach of Vocal Adrenaline from Carmel High." Holly began.

"Why is she here?" Puck folded his arms defensively.

"Is she going to be our new choir teacher?" Finn asks.

"No." Will begins.

"I'm here because my auditorium is a dump. It was trashed by a group of asshole kids who can't take a little competition. Who also don't show good sportsmanship." Shelby focuses her glare on each and every one of the kids. "Now I would usually press charges but I think my kids will have enough payback by winning Regionals against you next month."

Each kid squirmed in their chair but no one said a word.

"How do you know it was us?"A kid who Shelby doesn't know asks. The boys mohawk looked ridiculous.

Shelby chuckles humorlessly.

"First of all if you're going to do something at least have better ideas. And I had a pass with the kids name RB."

Everyone tried not to look back at Rachel in the back of the room. Surely if they could they would send the girl death glares. At the sound of her initials being said, Rachel tries to make her self smaller in her chair.

"Now guys I'm willing to make the punishment less than harsh." Will spoke again. "I just want you all to tell me the truth. Who's idea was this?"

The choir room was quiet as wheels turned in each of the Gleeks heads.

"It was Rachel!" Kurt cracked first.

He couldn't have a felony on his permanent records.

He also didn't know what Mr. Schue's punishment would be but of course he wasn't thinking. Snitching on Rachel was the first thing that came to mind.

"Yep totally Rachel's idea." Mercedes piped up.

"All her." Quinn added." She's a deviant little mastermind."

Rachel looked around as all of the kids agreed that it was her who had the idea. They all totally were for themselves. How could they? Did team mean anything to them.

"There's no I in team." Rachel whispered harshly to them.

"But there's an m- and an- e." Someone in front of her spoke.

"Rachel will you come up here please?" Will sighed.

Rachel glared at all of her so-called teammates for a second before standing from her seat. She grabs her bag and slowly walks to the front of the room where all 4 adults are standing.

"Rachel Berry?" Shelby whispers to herself.

It can't be, no it wasn't. The small girl looked so familiar Shelby could admit that.

But now that she was closer she could see. This was her baby. Her daughter Rachel.

Rachel looks to Ms. Corcoran with a hint of recognition at her name being called. She knows who the woman is. She could never forget that face or that voice. This was her mother. But to Rachel this woman meant nothing. Not now, not when she was in trouble. Now her Mom could see how much of a failure she was and have even more of a reason not to deal with her.

Holly looks back and forth between Rachel and Shelby.

That's where she remembered the name from. She and Shelby had been friends for a few years now when she helped the woman with her team a month ago. Shelby always talked about the Berry's and her little girl. Not to mention the tiny girl was the spitting image of her mother. This was almost like an episode of Maury/Jerry Springer without all of the mud wrestling and fighting. Holly is almost hoping that she spoke too soon.

"Rachel what do you have to say for yourself?"Will asked as the girl stepped in front of him.

Rachel looked down to her feet unsure of herself.

It was their word against hers. Also Ms. Corcoran had evidence. He couldn't possibly believe her. No one ever believed her. They never give her a chance.

"Mr. Schue I didn't do it. They are all liars." Rachel spoke keeping her eyes on her shoes. If she looked up at anyone she would burst into tears.

"Then why would they all say it was you?" Will asks. "You can't even look me in the eyes and say it wasn't you."

"You know why they snitched on her. They are all a bunch of pansy punks who can't even own up to what they did." Sue snarls. She doesn't like the tiny girl but no one deserved to be lied on. " Barbra here is hated by most of the school of course they would see her as their scapegoat."

Shelby didn't miss Rachel's glance up at her.

The girl looked so broken right now and all she wanted to do was hug her, but she knew it would be inappropriate.

Now she knows, Rachel thought.

My mother will think I'm a bad kid and a liar.

Now she definitely won't want me.

"No its true it was her idea." Kurt continued. "Look in her bag."

Rachel's head snaps up to look back at Kurt.

What was he talking about? There was nothing in her bag.

Will looks at her questioningly.

"Fine." Rachel shoves the bag in his hand for him to look. "I deserve an apology-"

"What's this?" Will pulls out the receipt from the dollar store of all the items they bought.

"Unbelievable someone put that there." Rachel cries. "I swear I didn't it-it wasn't me."

"Yeah right we were all in the auditorium practicing for a surprise number when Rachel came to us with an idea."Quinn spoke up. "She tried to get us in trouble and she failed, like always. Just admit it Berry."

"I swear I-I didn't she's lying." Rachel is using all of her strength to keep from crying. So much for being a part of the team. "Mr. Schue you have to believe me I didn't-"

"Enough Rachel." Will holds a hand up. "You are suspended five days and you will apologize to Ms. Corcoran here. Whatever extra punishment you have she will give you. I will also be calling your parents."

"Now wait-" Holly began.

She knew this poor girl didn't do all of this on her own.

"No Holly." Will interrupts. "I will not condone this type of thing. Rachel will take her punishment and know that she will not be able to attend Glee for 2 weeks. Now apologize to Ms. Corcoran."

Rachel's lip tremble in embarrassment and sadness.

She turns back to the other Gleeks begging them to come forward. She couldn't miss anymore days of school.

She was afraid to see the punishment her Dad had for her when she got home. But as she looked all of them in the eye they all avoided her gaze. Rachel made eye contact with Santana until the girl looked away.

"Rachel now." Will called.

Rachel grabs her bag and steps in front of Shelby.

She tearfully looks the woman in the eye. Those blue eyes that are so familiar yet so different from her own.

"I-I-I'm sorry Ms. Corcoran for trashing your stage. I assure you that it will never happen again." Rachel struggled to get the sentence out. She couldn't keep eye contact for too long. She quickly pushed her bag over her shoulder and ran out of the room. It didn't matter if her fathers would be picking her up soon. She was going to the only place where she would be safe.

Shelby looks to Holly and then to Will.

"I don't think we should just let them off so easily."

She couldn't get the image of her baby girl crying in front of her. What type of friends did the girl have? They were all supposed to be teammates. Her kids would have stuck together and taken the punishment as a team. Not rat each other out for the fear of getting in trouble like this team.

"Well what do you suggest?"Will asks. "It was Rachel's idea so we already got rid of the problem. I believe that is enough."

"You couldn't possibly believe that q-tip." Sue snaps angrily.

"Even I don't believe it William."Principal Figgins finally speaks.

"My hands are clean of this situation. They told me what they know." Will threw his hands up. "These are my students and I will treat them as such. If you have anything better then I'm all ears."

Shelby rolled her eyes and tried to keep herself from going crazy on this man. Surely, he couldn't be that dense and oblivious of all of this.

"I think I have a good enough punishment for all of them." Sue steps up.

All of the students sit up straighter in fear.

No one wanted to deal with Sue's punishments.

"What do you have in mind?"Holly asks.

"I hope you don't plan to kill them?" Shelby isn't so sure of Sue's methods. Even though she's known the woman for the better half of an hour. She and Sue were alike in many ways. They were disciplinarians for one and they had zero tolerance for nonsense.

"Of course not." Sue quips. "They'd still be breathing when I'm done with them. Barely, but they'd still be breathing. For all of the days that Barbra Hobbit is absent you all will do Cheerios practice with me. Plus two extra hours of boot camp."

"Good enough for me." Shelby smirks as all of the other kids groan.

Santana, Brittany, and Quinn were all used to Coach Sylvester's crazy practice. But two extra hours where the woman could practically kill them? Why didn't they just take the Suspension for 200?

"Which means they will be missing Glee after school." Will concludes. "We need to practice they can't practice if they're half dead."

"They should have thought about that before they outed one of their team mates." Sue smirks. "For the next week their scrawny asses are all mine."

"She can't do this." Will turns to Figgins.

"Maybe not but she will." Figgins shrugs. "I really don't want to be sued. Pus she said they would still be breathing."

"It also makes up for the time my team will be missing to prepare damages and everything else. Sounds fair to me." Shelby concludes.

Holly nods in agreement.

"Fine." Will pouts like a 7-year-old who's just been told he can't have a cookie before dinner.

"Now that it's settled nice doing business with you all but I must go." Shelby directs a final glare to all of the Gleeks that makes them squirm in their seats.

"Shelby do you mind talking for a second?" Holly asks as she steps out of the room with her friend.

"Yes what's up?" Shelby fixes her coat.

"It's about tiny." Holly speaks.

"Who?" Shelby raises a brow.

"Your daughter Rachel." Holly tries again. "The little girl that ran out of here crying and heartbroken just a few minutes ago."

Shelby nods interested now. "I'm listening."

"Now I've only been here a day but..." Holly wanted to figure out how to say it. "She's the outcast of this school. I know that you would want to know but I see a lot of you in her. She's troubled and I can see it. I know what you saw in there is surprising but it seems to be a normal occurence in this school for her."

"Why are you telling me all of this?" Shelby looks into her friend's eyes. "I mean I'm not her mother there isn't much I could do. You know the two times I ran into her, the Berry's threatened to get a restraining order. Which both times were coincidental and one of them she didn't know I was her mother, might I add. I don't want to hurt her anymore than she is."

"I know you would want to know." Holly tells her friend. "She needs someone and I know that I can be there but there is only so much I can do. I guess I wanted to tell you that I would be looking out for her."

"Thank you and I appreciate it so much." Shelby hugs her friend. "I just don't want to disrupt her life."

"I know but she's here and she's beautiful. Everything you imagined." Holly smiled. "She's in the auditorium down that hall and around the corner."

"Thank you." Shelby smiles sincerely.

"Always." Holly gives the woman a kiss on the cheek and turns her in the right direction. "Now go talk to your girl."

* * *

><p>Shelby takes a deep breath as she makes her way down the hall to the auditorium. Would Rachel be angry at her? Would she even talk to her? All she wanted to do was hug her baby girl. Her baby.<p>

Taking another deep breath , Shelby grabs ahold of the knob and pulls. Slowly walking inside of the dark auditorium, Shelby's heels clack as her eyes search the room for the one thing, person, she is looking for. Looking up at the stage, Shelby notices a single spot light shining on the tiny girl as she slowly runs her fingers across the piano. Not really playing a song just running her fingers.

"Hello?" Shelby calls once she gets close enough.

She tries to ignore the beating in her chest as she climbs the steps to the stage.

Rachel stops playing as her body goes stiff.

She didn't hear anyone enter the room. She didn't think anyone would be in here. Certainly not _her_.

"Rachel?" Shelby continues to walk until she is behind the girl.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel asks dejectedly. "Shouldn't you be with your family somewhere?"

"My family?" Shelby asks.

What did the girl mean?

"Yes your husband and kids. My fathers told me that you moved on a long time ago.I hope you treat your kids right." Rachel answers her question.

That was ridiculous.

Shelby had to wonder what they were telling the girl about her.

"Baby whatever they told you is a lie. I'm not married and I certainly don't have any other children." Shelby dares to sit next to the girl.

Rachel finally looks up at her.

"You don't" She sniffles.

"No and I don't know what your fathers told you but none of it is true." Shelby turns so she is fully facing the young girl.

How she's thought about this moment all the time.

The moment where she would finally be able to sit her little girl down and tell her the truth. The moment where Rachel would be able to understand why she did what she did.

Right now as Shelby looks into her daughter's eyes she has to hold back a sob. Despite her being puffy eyed and red-faced, her baby girl is beautiful. Her chocolate eyes express so much including all of the pain and hurt she is feeling right now.

"You're so beautiful." Shelby takes a chance and tucks a loose strand of Rachel's hair behind her head.

"I'm not." Rachel lowers her head so that there is a curtain around her face. She sniffles a little.

"You are and you should always know that."Shelby lowers her head to get Rachel to look at her. "You're beautiful. Way more than what my imagination could muster."

"You're just saying that." Rachel sniffles. "You didn't want me remember?"

"Is that what they told you?" Shelby frowns. "That I didn't want you?"

Rachel nods and sniffles again.

She wipes her nose with the sleeve of her sweater and continues to avoid the woman's gaze. Avoid her mother's gaze. "They said that you could already tell I was going to be too much trouble for you.I'm too much for a lot of people. It's okay if you felt that way."

Shelby grimaces at the words and at Rachel using her sleeve to wipe her nose. She quickly digs in her purse for a few napkins. Out of instinct she takes Rachel's chin in her hands and continues to wipe the girl's nose. Rachel can't help but roll her eyes. She was fifteen not five.

But she wouldn't complain and not one bit.

Her Mom was here. At least for now, as Rachel reminded herself she couldn't get attached. They could never have a relationship.

"Don't believe that for one second." Shelby balls the napkin up in her hand as she inspects to see how she did. "Rachel do you know how old I was when I got pregnant with you?"

Rachel shakes her head in the negative.

Her fathers had never told her much. Just what they wanted her to know about the woman sitting in front of her.

"I was 16 years old when I gave birth to you."Shelby informed her.

Rachel's eyes widen, that was only a year older than she was.

She surely couldn't imagine herself having a baby in a year. No one would even want her.

"I know." Shelby chuckles a little. "I like to say that I was born and raised in grown folk's business. I was a rebellious teen and I was always in trouble. Let's just say I got into more trouble than I could handle at 16. My father told me about a couple who wanted a child because they couldn't have one."

"My dads?" Rachel asks quietly.

Shelby nods. "They were perfect and I knew that I couldn't take care of you. I was still a kid myself. My parents supported me but they knew that I wasn't ready. I wanted to give you your best chance."

Shelby looks to see that Rachel is listening intently.

"I was too young and dumb. I was so afraid that I would mess you up. You weren't even born and you were already so perfect. I just couldn't do that to you. You deserved to be happy and I didn't want to mess you up. At 16 I was too involved in myself and partying and everything. I always wanted you though. I did,"

"So you just gave me up that easily?" Rachel asks.

"Rachel baby, you have to know it wasn't easy at all." Shelby lays her hand on top of Rachel's on the bench. "There were complications at the end of my pregnancy that caused you to be premature. That's why you're so tiny."

Rachel smiled a little.

That explains it.

"You were so tiny and perfect. I just couldn't hurt you any more. So I gave you to your fathers and they made me sign a contract saying that I couldn't contact you for 18 years. Those two times we ran into each other were coincidental." Shelby explains. "I was so happy to see you. Shortly after your birth I was told I couldn't have any more children. I wanted you, always did and always will."

Rachel frowns when Shelby speaks of the contract.

Her fathers had not told her about that.

Surely this woman was lying. She didn't believe it.

Why would they lie to her? This woman in front of her wanted her? No one wanted her and here her mother was saying she did. Someone was lying.

As a million thoughts began to run through the young girl's head she began to get more upset. "You're lying they said-"

"I'm not-"

"No you're lying they would have told me..." Rachel scooted away from Shelby. "You didn't want me because I was a lot to handle. I just can't, you're lying. They're lying-"

Rachel began to get more and more upset as she stood from the bench to look at Shelby.

"Rachel baby-" Shelby reached for the girl.

"No don't baby me." Rachel pulled away. "I-I-I'm not your baby. I haven't been for a long time. I never was. You're lying! Why are you telling me all of this? Why didn't you just stay away?"

Shelby stands from her seat and comes to stand in front of the small girl. Right now crying and upset the 15-year-old looked even younger.

"Rachel I want you to know the truth." Shelby stepped closer to which Rachel only stepped back. "I wanted you to hear me out."

"Stay away." Rachel demands tearfully.

She doesn't know what to think right now.

It's all too much. She just can't.

She steps away and runs out of the auditorium leaving her bag behind. She had to get away. She couldn't handle it.

Shelby sighs, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Looking around the auditorium, she tries to catch her breath and collect her thoughts.

Rachel's pink bag catches her eyes.

Shelby chuckles despite the situation as she picks the bag up.

Her daughter had a habit of leaving her things behind.

She just has to figure out a way to get the bag back to her.

Shelby sighs again and walks off the stage.

She didn't mean to make the girl so upset. All the mother wanted to do was explain to the young girl. Apparently the Berry men had filled the young girl's head with lies about her. She wanted to know who her daughter was.

Both times she met her daughter it was coincidental.

This time it wasn't. She'd met her three times in total. These three times could fit on her hand. All 3 times her daughter was as beautiful and as perfect as the last.

This third meeting with Rachel wasn't coincidental though. Maybe it was fate? Did Shelby really believe in that?

Could fate have brought her back to her little girl?

* * *

><p>"Rachel you are in a lot of trouble." Leroy scolds his daughter as she climbs inside of their car. "Your father is really pissed at you. 5 days?"<p>

Rachel doesn't notice the boy who is sitting next to her in the back seat. "I'm sorry."

"What did you do kid?" The boy next to her asks.

This time Rachel finally looks up and into the boy's eyes.

"Rachel you remember your cousin Kyle." Leroy smiled despite what he just told the girl. "He used to babysit you all of the time when you were younger remember?"

Rachel tries not to flinch as they boy lays a hand on her thigh.

"We used to have so much fun right Rachie?" The boy grins at her knowingly.

Rachel nods frozen in her seat.

She remembers all too well, especially that nickname.

It brought back memories that she tries so hard to forget.

"Well hopefully you guys can have fun and rekindle your good times while Hiram and I are at work this week." Leroy turns on his blinker.

"How long is he staying?" Rachel finally asks.

"Oh a week maybe 2." Kyle smiles running his fingers up her thigh before removing his hand and putting it back into his pocket. "I only hope we could have as much fun as we used to."

Rachel nods blankly before pushing herself against the door as best she could. She stares out of the window blankly as she prays to god she survives this week.

She was already suspended for five days.

She'd met her birth mother.

She could potentially be whipped tonight because of said suspension.

Now her cousin was back in town.

How much worse could her life get?

**A/N: Review please. =)**


	5. Biggest Fear

Chandeliers

By: LockedSoulsAM

Summary: Have you ever felt so empty and alone that you just wanted it to be over? The feelings of pain, hurt, and depression always coursing through your know how it feels to wake up everyday and pretend that everything is okay. Rachel Berry felt like this all the time until that day on the roof. That day changed everything, maybe even for the better.**Trigger Warnings- Dark Themes Ahead **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Glee I wouldn't be on here. **

**I own this story line and any new characters that come with it. **

**A/N: A double update in what 3 days? I wanted to give an update before I focused back on LGL. Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favorites. It has come to my attention in one of the reviews I've gotten that some of you are not very happy with this storyline as it is too much. I wish anon would have left a name so I could discuss this with them privately but maybe it's something on most of my reader's minds. **

**To anon- So you started the story, noticing the summary warning dark themes ahead. Since I only have two stories and one of them involved child abuse/rape so far,which you read also since you know, I understand your concern. As far as depending on the child abuse/rape storyline, maybe in LGL but you were aware of that a few chapters in. In this story I never out right said that Rachel's cousin or anyone from her family or anyone that she knew abused or raped her. In certain states CPS considers spankings/whippings as abuse and against the law. That's what I mean and I probably should have put that. Not wanting to reveal too much I wrote what I thought would best correlate and flow with the chapter and where I'm going with the story. As most stories and shows do, they lead you to believe one thing and you are almost never right in what you guess (most of the time). This story is different from my other and I'm trying so hard to keep it that way. Hiram and Leroy are nowhere near the people they were in LGL and they never will be. I don't want people to have to compare the similarities of my stories. That's what I thought from the first time I even came up with the idea for this story. Of course you wouldn't know that because as you gave the story a chance you didn't like how it was turning out. **

**Everyone is entitled to their own opinion though and I'm glad you brought it up so I could clarify. I want to clear it up since most of the reviews were thinking that's where it is headed. I don't want to reuse and recycle ideas from a story that many of you have already read before. **

**You all will get an explanation for Rachel's fear of Kyle and their history in the upcoming chapters. I hope you at least give it another chance before deciding to throw it away. **

**Now on to the official chapter 5 you've all been waiting for. If you have any more questions feel free to ask them. **

**Enjoy =)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 5 - Biggest Fear<p>

Shelby scolded herself as she turned off the stages lights of McKinley. With Rachel's bubblegum pink bag and her purse on separate shoulders, she exited the auditorium trying to make sense of this whole day.

Shelby didn't know what she was thinking approaching Rachel like that. The girl was already going through enough as it is and here she had to go making it even harder for her.

Of course the girl wouldn't believe her. Not when she had been told something totally different by the ones she trusted. Even if what they said hadn't been true. Who would believe a total stranger over their family?

Shelby tried to reign in her emotions as she rounded the corner of the hallway. She almost didn't notice the girl walking in front of her who was too busy texting on her phone.

"Watch it!" Santana yelled as she almost ran into Shelby.

"Shouldn't you be the person watching it?" Shelby raises a perfectly plucked brow at the girl.

"What are you still doing here?" Santana tucks her phone into her coat pocket. Whoever she was texting was unimportant now. "Shouldn't you be somewhere cleaning up?"

"Funny." Shelby folded her arms.

She didn't know what to think of this girl. This was one of the girl's from Rachel's glee club. Also known as one of the punks that threw her kid under the bus. Maybe she could get more information about Rachel.

"Why do you have Rachel's backpack?" Santana finally notices the loose bag hanging on Shelby's shoulder. "Did you kill her and steal the bag? Man slaughter is illegal everywhere and If you don't think for one second that I won't go to the cops you are-"

Shelby had to roll her eyes at the fast talking Latina.

Sometimes she really didn't like teenagers.

Pushing Santana a step back as the girl tried to walk pass her, Shelby glared at the girl.

"I did not kill her." Shelby speaks calmly. "But it seems like you care about her. But apparently not enough to take up for your own actions."

"I do not care about her." Santana folded her arms defiantly and fixed her face with a scowl. "She's a total loser."

This made Shelby's brow raise even higher as she tried to keep from going HBIC. Rachel was still her kid and she would always be protective over her baby.

"My daughter is not a loser." Shelby stepped a little closer as Santana backed up in fear."It should be you all that snitched on her that should be called the losers."

"Your daughter?" Santana stopped backing up.

The 16-year-old could admit that was a little scary and Santana wasn't intimidated by a lot of people. Her mom, maybe, but other than that no one. Even her dad was afraid to mess with her she had him wrapped so tightly around her little finger. She was his little princess that could do no wrong in his eyes.

Shelby's eyes widen as she realizes what she just revealed.

Standing up a little straighter she fixes her blouse and confidently says. "Yes Rachel is my daughter. "

"But I thought she was, like, a test tube baby or something." Santana mumbles.

"What would make you think that?" Shelby asked.

What was with these kids in this school?

What did they learn and teach here?

But who was she kidding look at the principal. She'd be happy if she could take Rachel out of this school.

Shaking her head free of those thoughts, Shelby had to remind herself that Rachel wasn't really hers. In Rachel's words she never was.

"A surrogate is what she said."Santana says aloud. "I don't really listen to her when she talks. All I usually hear is white noise and an annoying buzz from the little hobbit."

Santana closes her mouth as she realizes she _is_ talking to Berry's mother. There was one rule never tell a parent their kid is a loser. Even if it was true.

Shelby chooses to ignore that comment. This is not what she stopped the girl for.

"So I assume you and Rachel are not friends?"

"Nope."Santana pronounces the "p" with a pop.

"But you know about her?"

"What is this a criminal interrogation?" Santana asks annoyed. "I have places to be."

"Can you just answer the question please?" Shelby says with equal the amount of attitude.

"Look," Santana sighs and adjust the strap of her Cheerios duffel bag. "Rachel isn't exactly what you would call popular. I'm only her tutor and that's all. We've never had a real conversation and probably never will. I don't know much about her and I kind of plan to keep it that way. Why do you want to know so much about her now? Didn't you give her away?"

Shelby listens to every word the girl is saying with a frown.

Did these kids really not like Rachel? Is that why Rachel cried? Because she was embarrassed for Shelby to see.

"I did but that's not-"

"Then it shouldn't matter." Santana doesn't give her a chance to speak. "The little dwarf is already going through enough without you adding to it."

"I thought you didn't care about her?" Shelby looks at the girl suspiciously. "For someone who says they don't care you sure do sound like you care."

"I just-" Santana relents dropping her arms to her side. "I don't want to have to tutor a depressed midget. Those are like the worst kind."

Shelby didn't say anything else on the matter.

Obviously Santana did care about Rachel and there was also something she wasn't saying. Man, teenagers are confusing creatures. Shelby sometimes found herself shaking her head at her own group of kids.

"So you tutor her? Why does she need a tutor?"

"Because she does." Santana rolls her eyes.

This woman claimed herself as Rachel's mother but she didn't know how much the small girl would want her to reveal to this woman. "Can I go now officer?"

Shelby nods without a word.

Santana steps away before looking back to Shelby.

"Here." Quickly taking a pen and paper out of her bag she scribbles on the paper. "She needs someone on her team. I can't be that person. But if you can that would be...yea."

Santana hands the paper to Shelby.

They both make eye contact before Santana speaks again.

"It gives you an excuse to go see her." Santana points to the bag. "Don't be in her life if all you will do is walk out. She doesn't need that."

Not waiting for a reply or so much as a nod, Santana turns and walks away. The Latina hopes she is doing the right thing. She's also hoping that doing this will take away some of the guilt every time she saw Berry.

The girl was hurting and even a blind person could see that.

But no one really seemed to care enough to change that.

* * *

><p>"Knock, Knock" Kyle smiles as he enters Rachel's open door. "How's my favorite cousin doing?"<p>

Rachel says nothing as she curls up in her bed.

Rolling her eyes at him, she huffs and moves away.

"Whoa hey what did I do?" Kyle grins and holds his hands up in surrender. "You aren't still angry at me after all these years are you? You can't possibly still be angry?"

"I can and the answer to your question is yes." Rachel turns away from him.

"Come on despite everything that happened we had some pretty good times together." Kyle laid a hand on her shoulder. "Best Buds remember?"

"Kyle you are six years older than me." Rachel hastily pushes his hand away. "I was a foolish kid who always put too much trust in people back then. I learned my lesson with you."

"So I take it you still haven't told your parents about it?"Kyle keeps his hands to himself this time.

"No!" Rachel yells to him. "I didn't tell them how horrible of a babysitter you were. You were and probably still are the golden child. They probably wish you were their child and not me."

Standing up from her spot on her bed she turns to glare at him.

"I was 16 we all do stupid things at 16." Kyle tried to defend himself.

"Not all 16 year olds traumatized their baby cousin for life." Rachel glared.

Her cousin was just so annoying and oblivious at times.

Her parents saw him as the kid who could do no wrong.

"Rachie," Kyle began as he attempted to stand. "Is it about what happened on Halloween? That night?"

"No you don't get to call me that!" Rachel's eye lit up in anger as she poked in him in the chest forcing him to sit down. "I'm not your Rachie or any one else's. Rachie is dead."

"What are you talking about Rachel?" Kyle looked puzzled.

Were they even on the same subject anymore?

"You know exactly what I'm talking about,Kyle." Rachel was furious. "Kyle you were the worst baby sitter in the history of babysitters. I have to sleep with a night-light because of you and your idiotic friends."

"Rachel that was 5 years ago." Kyle argued. "You can't possibly hold all of those things against me. Besides I thought you were having fun with me."

"Really what tipped you off?" Rachel sneered. "Was it all the screaming, the blood or was it me having to still sleep with a night-light after so long?"

"Rachel, I only did it a few times." Kyle defended himself. "You wanted to be a part of the guys so I let you. You didn't think I was going to let you off that easy did you? Besides what we did was harmless compared to all the other people we've done it to."

"Oh god you're an idiot." Rachel covers her face with her hands. "I was 10 years old Kyle!"

"So I don't think what we did could be considered traumatizing." Kyle shrugs his shoulders. "I mean all we did-"

"Don't you even speak of it." Rachel slapped his arm." You were my favorite cousin and all you did was hurt me. You have no idea how thankful I was when you moved with your parents. I could finally breathe without flinching every time someone touched me. There are thousands of studies all over the internet about kids being traumatized by things like that."

"So I take it you won't be watching the new season of American Horror Story with me will you?" Kyle jokes.

"Out of my room!"Rachel growls before forcing him to his feet

"But wait you didn't even tell me what you did at school to get suspended for 5 days." Kyle protested as Rachel pushed him out of the door. "My little cousin is a bad ass. At least give me a hint!"

Slamming the door in his face, Rachel turns back to her bed and throws herself on top of it. Boys were so stupid sometimes especially her older cousin Kyle. The cruel things he used to do when he babysat her made the 15-year-old shudder at the thought of them.

She just hopes Kyle has changed and grown up and realized that he was an idiot.

She wishes she could say the same for the kids at her school.

* * *

><p>Shelby takes a deep breath as she looks at the house in front of her. She's been sitting in her Range Rover for almost ten minutes trying to collect her thoughts and come up with something to say about why and how she was here.<p>

Not seeing a car out front the woman assumed that no one was home. There were movements through the upstairs window so she could see that Rachel or at least someone was home. She prayed that it was Rachel because she was spent from all the events from today.

"Here goes nothing." Shelby sighs taking a deep breath before zipping Rachel's bag and stepping out of her car.

The house was on the poorer side of Lima but that didn't mean it was bad-looking house. It was actually a nice 2 story brick house with black awnings and a nice green lawn.

"The lawn would be covered in snow soon" Shelby thought as she stepped onto the porch.

Taking another deep breath Shelby rung the doorbell twice and stepped back. She could hear the shuffling around behind the door as someone made their way to open it.

An unfamiliar boy opened the door and looked at her as though she was crazy. He looked at her almost as if he knew her. Should Shelby know him? His light African-American skin tone and his hazel eyes told and his relaxed demeanor told her that he was used to being here

Was Rachel here alone with this boy? Was this her boyfriend? Did the Berry's know that Rachel had a boyfriend? Did they know Rachel was alone with him? What were they doing before she opened the door? Rachel was far too young to have a boyfriend.

All of these thoughts ran through Shelby's mind as the boy looked at her for a second more before shouting "Uncle Leroy there's some crazy hot chick here."

"No!" Shelby didn't have time to speak before Leroy Berry appeared at the door.

"What are you doing here?" Leroy questioned angrily.

"Who is this Unk?" Kyle asked.

"She's no one." Leroy told the boy. "Go check dinner for me would you?"

Kyle shook his head not wanting to leave what was bound to be an argument. Plus the woman in front of them was hot, but she looked oddly familiar.

"Again what are you doing Shelby?" Leroy folded his arms. "I thought you would stay away after that restraining order we threatened to file."

"I'm here to return Rachel's bag." She simply spoke and handed the bag to him." She forgot it when we were talking."

"So you've seen her behind our backs? Really Shelby you couldn't just stay away!" Leroy fumed. "She's our daughter and she's fine. How long have you been seeing her?"

"I haven't-"

"Rachel get down here now!" Leroy yelled causing Shelby to jump. "Is this why she has missed so many days because she skips to see you?"

"What?" Shelby tried to keep her voice neutral as the man cut her off. She really hated that. "No."

Why was Rachel absent and even her fathers didn't know?

"Yes daddy?" Rachel asked timidly from the top of the stairs.

She was guessing it was time for her to be in trouble.

But her dad's car wasn't here so he must be out and Leroy never handed out punishments. He would yell and lecture her and that was pretty much it.

"Come down here and let me show you something." Leroy demanded.

Slowly coming down the steps Rachel's eyes widen as her eyes connected with Shelby.

"Do you know why she is here?" Leroy folded his arms and moved over a bit so that Rachel could come stand next to him.

Looking down at her shoes, Rachel answers quietly "No."

"Look at me when I'm talking to you." Leroy scolded.

Shelby almost said something but this wasn't her place.

No matter how much she didn't like it she wasn't Rachel's parent.

"Have you been skipping school to see her?"Leroy asked.

"No daddy I would never." Rachel replied truthfully. "I don't even really know who she is."

"Leroy I've worked at McKinley High for a while to help with the Glee Club. Only recently did I realize that Rachel attended this school. " Shelby stepped in for the younger girl. "I heard she was suspended and she was in such a hurry to get home, to explain to you her reason for being suspended, that she left her bag. I only believed for it to be right that I returned it to her."

"You do know being around her breaks the contract right?" Leroy informed them both.

"With all due respect Leroy that contract means nothing in this case." This was not what the woman really wanted to say to that man but her daughter was right here. "I was around her for work I did not seek her out to intentionally form a relationship. I understand the terms of that contract just like I did when I signed it."

"Just like you understood the other two times we 'ran' into you." Leroy puts air quotes around the word.

"Technically yes." Shelby frowned.

Rachel remembered it like it was yesterday.

The first time she had met her mother.

"I'm letting you off with a warning this time." Leroy relented. "If you come anywhere near my daughter outside of your little job I will not hesitate to put you in jail. I can't even imagine what my husband would do. Rachel is our daughter and we are all she needs. We don't need an extra person taking care of her."

Shelby wasn't really fazed by the threats this man was throwing at her. She could go back ten times harder and put him in his place but what stopped her was Rachel's pleading puffy and red eyes.

She nodded and stepped down from the porch.

Leroy closed the door and turned back to Rachel.

Handing her the backpack he spoke "We will be discussing this with your father."

Rachel nodded quietly. Her dad seemed pissed and kind of..._sad. _ She didn't really understand that.

One thing she didn't understand was how Shelby got their address. It was a mystery to the girl.

Had she known their address the whole time?

* * *

><p>Dinner was eaten in silence as Rachel picked at the food from her plate. She should be happy that her parents were actually home for once. They were workaholics and Rachel was used to surviving on hot pockets and Ramen Noodles.<p>

Luckily she didn't gain any weight or she would be as big as a house.

"So our daughter had a little house guest." Leroy began glancing at Rachel as she sat up a little straighter. "This person came to return her bag."

"Who was it?" Hiram asked.

"I think I'll let Rachel tell you." Leroy looked over expectantly to his daughter.

Hiram stopped eating his food to wipe his mouth and look over at her expectantly. He raised a hand to signal for her to start talking. Usually if Leroy didn't outright say it then it was interesting.

"Shelby Corcoran came here today to return my bag. I did not know that she would come. That is partly why I was suspended today. I was wrongly accused of being the mastermind behind a plan to trash her auditorium. Shelby caught us and I was the only one to get into trouble." Rachel decided to just come out and tell the truth. There was no use to beat around the bush with them. "I promise you that I didn't know that she was coming here."

"So how did she get out address?" Hiram asked not believing Rachel for one second.

"I don't know." Rachel shrugged. "You know how incompetent the adults at my school are."

"So you expect us to believe that your birth mother, who you have asked about multiple times, shows up at our house _unintentionally_ to return your bag that you left at a school." Hiram concluded.

Rachel nodded she swore she just told him that.

"How do we know that she didn't contact you? or that you didn't contact her?" Leroy asked.

"She thinks she's slick." Hiram grinned. "You think we were born yesterday?"

"No." Rachel's brow furrowed.

"So you didn't contact her?"

Getting angry Rachel stood up from her chair preparing to storm out of the room. Something stopped her as she turned back to her family angrily.

"Would it be such a bad thing if I did contact Shelby?" She demanded. "She's my mother after all. Is it a crime to want to know where I came from? She actually told me more than you both ever had. How long did you think you could keep telling me those lies until I figured out the truth?"

"What are you talking about?"Leroy looked at her.

"I suggest you lower your tone little girl." Hiram spoke calmly.

"No!" Rachel replied banging her hand on the table. "I'm 15 years old and instead of sweeping everything under the rug and feeding me lies why don't you tell me the truth! I've known this woman all of 2 hours and she told me the truth. She's my real parent and you both are frauds. She wanted me and you lied. You told me she didn't."

"Rachel..." Kyle tried to stop her from getting into anymore trouble.

"I'm just so tired of being that scared little girl." Rachel continued. "So are you going to tell me the truth? You told me she was a surrogate and that she didn't want me anyway. Neither one of you are my real father any way. Not biologically and not emotionally. I know that now and I'm old enough to see the truth. I understand. you think that now that Shelby is here you will act better and pretend we are some big happy family well that's a joke."

Rachel didn't even give them a chance to reply before stalking out of the room. The only thing that made her stop was her dad's hand on her forearm as she spun her around and landed 5 hard swats to her behind.

Rachel can't stop the stinging in her butt or the tears that sting her eyes. She didn't know what came over her but she was just so fed up. Of course her father wouldn't tolerate that.

"You are already in trouble I would like to think that you wouldn't want to be in any more."Hiram spoke through clenched teeth.

Rachel avoided crying out as he gripped her arm slightly tighter and landed 4 more swats.

"Now the next time you raise your voice at me or your father it won't be pretty." He looked into her eyes. "I don't know who this little girl is looking at me right now but she isn't the sweet Rachie that we raised. Not in the slightest. We didn't tell you about Shelby because of how you would react. We know that you would go looking for her and get hurt. She may not have hurt you this time but next time she could and we would have to be the ones to pick up the pieces."

Rachel averted her gaze as tears slipped from her eye's at her Dad's words. Those swats really stung too!

"Now I wasn't going to spank you for getting suspended seeing as it doesn't work anymore, "Hiram let go of her arm. "But that little outburst just now very well may make me reconsider it. Go up to your room Rachel."

Gladly, the girl thought as she ran up the stairs to her room and softly closed the door. She didn't dare slam it.

Throwing herself on the bed she cried loudly into her pillow.

She could never catch a break.

* * *

><p>"Sammie." Shelby called as she stepped into the front door of her house.<p>

Kicking off her heels, she groaned as her aching feet were given a break. Today was a stressful day and all she wanted to do was take a nice hot bath and sip a glass of wine while listening to some classical music. Anything that would help her unwind now.

Entering the kitchen, Shelby hears a bark that seems to be coming from outside.

"Shit!" Shelby scolds herself and rushes to the patio door to let her puppy in.

Sammie barked and ran around his owner in circles.

It wouldn't be the first time she left him outside after letting him out in the morning before school.

"Hi." Shelby kneeled so that the dog could lean his paws on her knees. "Were you being a good boy today?"

Sammie barked as though he was answering her questions.

"I take that as a yes." Shelby stood to her full height.

She quickly prepared Sammie a bowl of Puppy Chow and then freed herself of her jacket.

"Did we get any mail boy?" Shelby presses play on her home voicemail machine and thumbed through most of the junk mail on her end table.

Every voicemail was from someone but none from who she wanted it to be. Sighing, Shelby cuts the machine off and throws the mail back on the table.

"I had a long day Sammie." She looked down at the dog who watched her every move. "I found Rachel today. Not that she was really lost but I found her."

The dog barked and wagged excitedly.

He loved when Shelby talked to him.

He loved the attention.

"I'm glad that makes you happy." Shelby mused. "It made me happy too but it made Rachel upset, I think."

The cocker spaniel cocked his head as Shelby proceeded to tell him her day's events.

"You don't think I came at her too hard do you?"

Sammie covered his eyes with his paws a few times and sniffed. Shelby guessed this meant no.

"I'm talking to a dog." Shelby shook her head as though she was crazy.

Sammie barked 3 times and stepped up closer to her.

Sniffing her leg he barks again.

"I guess you don't think it's so crazy."

Sammie whined and trailed around her in a circle again before lying down.

Yep, She was officially crazy.

* * *

><p>After dying of boredom because of being grounded Rachel decided to do the only thing that would get her attention right now, homework. She lazily pulled the pink backpack closer to her and unzipped it. She won't have a chance to turn it in until almost two weeks later but that didn't matter. She was bored and she had nothing else to do.<p>

After pulling all the proper notebooks she would need from the bag, she let it drop to the floor. Once the bag drop something clanked on the floor next to it.

It was a necklace and an envelope.

What was it slip something in Rachel Berry's bag day?

Rachel was relieved to know that the envelope was not from anyone at her school.

She inspected the small golden necklace that had the letter R on it. She'd never seen it before and she doesn't know who it could be from.

Looking at the envelope, she read the scribble and cursive handwriting that addressed her as baby girl. She knew who it was the necklace aside she quickly opened the envelope to pull out a letter and a small wallet sized picture.

Rachel inspected the picture as someone who looked like her was was holding a baby. Her breath caught in her chest as she read the back. It had the same scribble, cursive handwriting as the envelope.

_Shelby and Baby Girl Rachel Corcoran_

_December 18,1999_

"Wow." Rachel thought as she turned the picture back to its front. She traced over the face of the picture. That was her.

Her fathers had a lot of pictures of her as a baby but this one meant so much more.

Standing from her bed she decided to hang the picture up right in the corner of her vanity mirror next to all of her other pictures. This one was special and it somehow made her feel complete.

Sitting at her desk, Rachel brought the letter to her eyes for inspection. She opened it and surely enough it was the same handwriting. The letter was dated the same day as the picture, her birthday.

She had to hold back tears as she could see all the time and pain and tears that was put into this letter.

_December 18,1999_

_Dear Rachel,_

_My sweet baby girl. I just want you to know that I love you so much and that I always wanted you. No matter what anyone says I will always want you. You were born prematurely today and currently in the NICU. Parent Visiting hours are over and I've been escorted back to my room. I've cried for you all day because you are so tiny and so perfect. You were barely breathing on your own because your due date was in February were born two months early. I think somehow you being born so early is my fault. No one will say it but I know. I can tell on their faces that I did something wrong but I don't know what. I always mess things up like that. But baby girl even though you are sick and I know you will get better, you are perfect. You are my perfect and beautiful little girl. I'm also giving you up for adoption as soon as you are able to go home. I hate to even say it and I can barely see what I'm writing since the tears are coming so quickly. You might be able to see them on the paper. Dried up tears and all._

Rachel traced over the dried up tears on the paper. She could still see them no matter how old this paper was. These were her mother's tears of pain for her. She had to keep reading.

_I know you may hate me right now. I know you may be asking yourself why. But baby girl I feel as though I wouldn't be enough for you. You are this one thing in the world that I have the choice not to mess up. I want to give you your best chance at live. I want to be able to meet you when you're older and explain all of this to you. Your fathers, the Berry Men, will tell you about me if you ask them. I hope you do and I hope they give you all that you need. I hope they make you happy. I also hope that they are nice to you and they love you. I want them to give you kisses and hugs and just lots of love. Something I probably could of gave you but you deserve so much more. I'm only 16 years old and I don't know what I'm doing. I know that I love you and I always will. Since you are reading this letter I assume you are older and able to understand I truly hope you do. I hope I get to meet you one day and hug you and tell you that I love you. You are so tiny right now and I'm so scared that if I touch you it wouldn't be real. You're the good in me and I hope you always stay that way. You were always wanted baby girl and I will always want you. I love you so much Rachel. In this envelope I also give you a necklace. I have one just like it they match. My daddy, your grandfather, had them made. Somehow I don't think I will have the chance to give it to you because of you being so small and everything. I hope you are happy wherever you are and I love you so much. I don't know how many times I can say it._

_I will love you always baby girl._

_My baby girl._

_Love Always,_

_Mommy_

Rachel sobbed as she lowered the letter and held up the necklace. She could tell that the letter was written by a 16-year-old but that 16-year-old was her mother. That 16-year-old was her mother telling her that she loved her and always wanted her. Shelby had told her so earlier herself, but this just made it more real. The reality of her life and all the things that have happened today had finally hit her.

Picking the envelope back up she noticed that it had a number on it.

It read:

_I'm always a call away,_

_(789)555-0936_

Rachel inspects the number a few times before looking at the necklace again. She slowly, with trembling hands, put the necklace around her neck affectively clasping it in place. She fixed her hair and inspected herself in the mirror.

Looking at the picture in the corner of her vanity, she noticed that she was the spitting image of her mother.

Her Mom, Rachel liked the sound of that.

Smiling a little she looked back into the mirror at herself.

She was never going to take this necklace off.

She bit her lip as she looked at the number again.

Her biggest fear was not being wanted.

She lived that fear everyday and she was somehow surviving.

But now she was informed that the person she wished she knew and she wished would love her the most did.

She was wanted.

Rachel Berry was loved and wanted.

**A/n: Rachel was not or never will be abused sexually or physically in this story. Kyle poses no real threat to her as you can see in this chapter and the next few. I know you are curious about what he did to make Rachel act that way towards him and you will know. Boys are idiots and they do stupid things. Especially family. Trust me when you figure out what Kyle did you will probably hate me for making you think he did something wrong. **

**Review please guys. **


	6. What was, What could have been, What is

Chandeliers

By: LockedSoulsAM

Summary: Have you ever felt so empty and alone that you just wanted it to be over? The feelings of pain, hurt, and depression always coursing through your know how it feels to wake up everyday and pretend that everything is okay. Rachel Berry felt like this all the time until that day on the roof. That day changed everything, maybe even for the better.**Trigger Warnings- Dark Themes Ahead **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Glee I wouldn't be on here. **

**I own this story line and any new characters that come with it. **

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favorites. Your reviews make me smile and think about how I'm going to make the next chapter better. **

**Let's see, someone told me I should make the Trigger Warnings more obvious. Trigger warnings- Dark Themes Ahead. Bullying is one of them along with mentions of suicide, depression and anything else that you would consider a trigger. Those are the basic dark themes that are being dealt with the most in this story. **

**If you have any questions or concerns feel free to put it in the review. **

**Enjoy=)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 6 What was, What could have been, What is<p>

Birds are chirping, the sun is shining and not a cloud is in the sky. Most people would be happy to be alive and well to see this beautiful day. Most people weren't Rachel Berry.

It's her first official suspension day from school. Five whole school days that Rachel will be missing. If she wasn't already behind, this time she would be. Rachel could catch up but sometimes it was hard. Her mind was always some place else during school. That was her only way of coping with all the things that went on at McKinley High.

Those times when she's actually paying attention, someone is always bothering her to copy the work. She'd never mention that they thought she was dumb but they wanted to copy her work.A good part of her school day was also spent cleaning off slushies and avoiding the jocks.

Her mind isn't on school now though.

All of the events from yesterday keep playing over in her head,the letter and everything that was in it was on Rachel's mind the most. Her birth mother wanted her and her fathers were keeping her away.

As Rachel looks at herself in the mirror, she has to wonder, why didn't her fathers understand? Why didn't they understand that she wasn't the problem here? That she needed someone in her life? That she needed a mom? She needs Shelby.

All of their anger and frustration was being thrown at her for reasons unknown. Maybe it's because they are having problems in their marriage? Maybe they have all grown apart? Maybe having a child isn't what they thought it would be?

This isn't how it used to be, a house divided.

They all used to be so happy together.

Hiram and Leroy were barely home and when they were they were either drunk or always arguing. There were no family nights, no talks with Rachel, no sitting at the dinner table. Last night was a rare occurence. Could they even be considered a family anymore?

"Another day." Rachel sighs. Her fingers toy with the necklace that she wears with pride. It's her first gift from Shelby, her mom. She hopes this wouldn't be the last.

Rachel barely slept last night, tossing and turning.

She'd been thinking about the number and what it would mean if she called it. Would she be able to form a relationship with this woman? Where would they go from here?

Rachel remembers Shelby mentioning the contract.

Was it true that legally her own mother wasn't allowed to see her?

If Rachel didn't call the number, would they continue living their lives as though the other never existed? Could she really do that? Rachel doesn't know if she can.

Her eyes trail from her reflection in the mirror to the picture in the corner. Rachel wishes she could remember this moment. She was probably only a few hours old,a pre-mie baby. Rachel could see the nervousness, the heartache and even the love in Shelby's eyes as she held that baby.

Rachel can't even imagine how Shelby felt that day. She can't remember the last time her fathers hugged her. Her eyes lower to her hands as she tries to imagine what it would feel like for her mom to hold her.

'Warm,' she thinks. 'Would it feel like home?'

Yesterday when Shelby wiped her face, something inside of Rachel seemed to repair. Like a small piece of her heart was repaired. One piece out of all the pieces of her heart that craved a mother.

"Hey Rach?"Kyle knocks at Rachel's open door. "I made breakfast so if you would like to come down and ya know. You like pancakes?"

Rachel nods in response to Kyle's question. Where he got the groceries to make this breakfast is a mystery. Their fridge was usually empty except for a few foods like Ramen Noodles, Hot Pockets, Pizza rolls and everything else microwaveable.

The foods weren't very healthy for Rachel or any normal person. They were fattening and didn't always taste too great. There were occasions where her fathers would bring home take out. They didn't do it often but Rachel would happily eat whatever they brought for her.

The lack of food to eat at home meant Rachel skipped breakfast, it wasn't possible for her to eat lunch at school so she usually waited until she got home. Sometimes, if she had extra bus money, she would stop at a café on Main Street, they always had the best donuts. She's been going there for years.

Eating only once a day was the norm and Rachel didn't complain. Her definition of normal has changed over the years.

When she was younger her fathers were more attentive, loving even. They would go places together as a family. She would be spoiled rotten, getting whatever she wanted at the bat of her dark lashes. Her fathers were wrapped around her fingers back then and she knew it.

They had moved multiple times because of her dad Hiram's job. The more they moved the harder it was for Rachel to make friends. Around 7th grade, when they moved into this house, Rachel attended McKinley Middle School.

She'd been friends with a couple of kids for a while but they all seemed to turn on her. None of them could understand why Rachel was so weird. She was always cheerful, and detail oriented and all of her teachers praised her.

In 7th grade she was at the top of her class and nothing could stop her. But things changed and certainly not in Rachel's favor.

After the first parent teacher's conference everyone figured out that Rachel had two gay dads. In a town like Lima, being a gay couple was unacceptable. The parents and children alike shunned the Berry family.

Hiram and Leroy had been used to it, but their 12-year-old daughter wasn't. She didn't understand why people suddenly stopped liking her. Her circle of friends turned into one friend and eventually she turned on Rachel too.

Rachel became the target of McKinley Middle school.

The kids would play pranks on her, put bugs into her food, push her down, and everything thing else the girl could think of.

Rachel can remember one day all too well.

It's fresh in her mind, as though it was yesterday.

It was the middle schoolers first years using the showers after gym class. Luckily, for Rachel gym was her last class of the day. Rachel always made sure she was the last student taking a shower.

That day Rachel was feeling especially down.

It was dodgeball day in gym class and of course all the balls would be directed towards her. Her back was bruised and her muscles ached. It was then that she decided to take an extra long shower.

It was relaxing and it allowed for her to cry before she got home. Being the last one in the shower meant Rachel was the last one in the locker room. Her gym teacher was usually cleaning up in the gym before she would come back to the locker room.

That day turned out to be one of the worst days of Rachel's middle school life. Taking her time drying off, Rachel hummed to herself as she trailed to her locker. Only to look inside and see that all of her clothes were gone, gym and her own clothes. Someone had stolen and hid them from her. Who in the world could think this was funny?

Rachel sat for hours in just a towel before Ms. Riley came to shut the lights out in the locker room. There was a call home and two outraged parents. Rachel shivered the time Ms. Riley talked to her parents on the phone. She was more embarrassed and ashamed of herself. Rachel thinks that's the first time she ever wished she wasn't alive. It was a fleeting thought but it was still there.

Hiram and Leroy talked to Rachel about the bullying and offered to press charges against the school. The 12-year-old didn't want that. She just wanted to be normal and continue to attend school. All of this would be blown out of proportion if they did press charges.

They made the girl promise that if anything like this happened again she would tell them. After that day Rachel opted out of showering after gym class and waited until she got home.

"Rachel it's going to get cold if you don't come down here."Kyle yelled up the stairs.

Rachel jumps at his voice, she was so caught up in her thoughts of the past that she forgot about breakfast. She quickly makes her way downstairs, trying to shake the bad thoughts from her head.

"I made pancakes Kiddo." Kyle ruffles the hair on Rachel's head. He sits a plate in front of Rachel before sitting across from her.

Scrunching her nose, Rachel fixes her hair and looks down at the pancakes. "Do these have strawberries in them?"

"Yea why?" Kyle says around his mouthful of pancakes.

"Okay first please don't talk with your mouth full." Rachel gives her cousin a disgusted look. "Second I'm allergic to strawberries you know that."

Kyle quickly swallows his food.

"Crap I forgot that sorry kid."

"It's fine." Rachel mumbles.

She pushes her plate away and continues to drink the orange juice beside her plate. She won't complain because at least Kyle attempted to feed her. She couldn't always say the same for her parents.

Kyle watches his cousin for a moment, something about her was different. "Where'd you get that necklace?"

Rachel quickly looks down at the necklace and then to her cousin. "Nowhere."

"Fine, have your little secrets." Kyle jokes. "Is it from that hot chick that was here yesterday? Your Mom right?"

"How would you know?" Rachel gets defensive.

If she confirms would she be able to trust Kyle to keep it a secret?

"Lucky guess and she kinda looks like you." Kyle shrugs his shoulders. "What's she doing giving you gifts?"

"It's just a necklace, _she is my mom_,"Rachel responds with an eye roll. "She's allowed to give me things."

"But that's it, Rach, she's not your mom." Kyle argues much to the annoyance of his younger cousin. "It may seem harsh but she's nothing to you. She gave you up remember."

"Well you're wrong." Rachel huffs and folds her arms. "That's not what she said."

"So, she's feeding you lies, big deal." Kyle snorts. "I don't think your dads would like it if they knew you were seeing her."

"I'm not seeing her." Rachel sits up straighter. "She's not lying. You wouldn't tell would you? You know if I was seeing her?"

Kyle sighs and relaxes a little. He can see the anticipation and want in Rachel's eyes. If last night was anything to go by, then someone wasn't telling the truth. He hasn't been here in 6 years. He hasn't been here to see what Rachel has gone through. He was always a jerk to his little cousin and maybe this time he could change that.

"No, it's none of my business and if asked I would say no." Kyle finally answers after a long pause. "If you get hurt I would hate to say I told you so."

"No more hurt than I've already been." Rachel mumbles.

"I'm having a few friends over today." Kyle changes the subject. "A few old friends of mine."

Rachel doesn't like the sound of that, not one bit.

Kyle and his friends were assholes who liked to play pranks on people. When they got together and played pranks it was at the expense of Rachel's sanity. The last prank they played would be forever grained in her head.

She shudders at the though of if. She does not want to be here when Kyle's idiot friends arrive. But she's grounded and if her dad's find out she's left she would be in trouble.

"You can go to the library if you want." Kyle suggests sensing Rachel's discomfort at the mention of his friends.

Maybe what the did last time really did scar the girl for life. It was completely harmless to them but to Rachel is was a nightmare on earth.

"You won't tell my dads?" Rachel asks suspiciously.

Why is Kyle being so nice to her?

"I wouldn't suggest it if I was going to tell." Kyle drinks his orange juice. "Besides you could catch up on homework or something."

"What's in it for you?" Rachel still isn't sure what his motives are.

"Nothing." Kyle sets his hands atop the table. "Look Rach, I'll be honest. We did some pretty creepy shit back then but we've changed. I've changed at least. I'm not that asshole 16-year-old I was back then. Believe me when I say karma bit me in the ass."

"You don't have an STD or anything do you?" Rachel finally asks.

"No!" Kyle replies fiercely. "It's just you're my cousin and I love you kiddo. Whether you believe it or not."

"I love you too." Rachel murmurs. "I'm still mad at you though."

"As you should be kid." Kyle raises his hands in surrender. "Don't let your curiosity of wanting a mother get you hurt."

Rachel nods and stands from the had to get her bag and coat to get ready for the library. Maybe she'll wear pants today.

"Hey Rachel you never told me why you got suspended!" Kyle yelled after her.

Rolling her eyes, Rachel continues up the stairs to get ready for the library.

* * *

><p>Once she got to the library, Rachel logged onto the computer and went to one website she could think of at the moment, .<p>

Rachel hasn't been on it in weeks, almost a month now.

She couldn't keep reading all the hateful comments posted on her wall and under her old singing videos. She also doesn't have a phone so it's easier to ignore everyone and everything. She especially ignored all the jocks in her inbox sending her lewd and crass messages. Some of them had terms Rachel had never heard in her 15 years of life.

Finn Hudson has inboxed her a few times asking about the homework but she knew better. Rachel didn't have an interest in boys or anyone at all right now. She wanted to focus on school and actually making it out of Lima. Not to mention there wasn't possibly anyone that she could like at that school.

It was full of airhead Cheerios, jocks and losers who seemed to have higher rankings than her. Even though all of that maybe true, Rachel was the only one who had goals. She was the only one who had hope for the future.

Rachel quickly opens the search box on FB and types in one name, _Shelby Corcoran_.

A bunch of different names pop up, there must be a lot of Corcoran's in Ohio. She wonders if they are related to her mom somehow.

Clicking on Shelby's page Rachel is met with a semi private screen. She isn't Shelby's friend on Facebook but there were still a few things on Shelby's profile that she could see.

Rachel decides that before she looks at the photos and videos, she wants to know a little about Shelby.

Clicking on Shelby's about tab she is met with a bunch of facts. Shelby's birthday is May 31, 1983, which also meant that in 1999 Rachel's birth year, Shelby was 15 when she got pregnant with her but actually 16 when she gave her up for adoption. Rachel liked to think about stuff like that. This also meant that Shelby is only 31 years old, pretty young to be a mom.

Some of Shelby's favorite movies are _Funny Girl, Training Day and The Day After Tomorrow. _ Rachel's eyes zero in on _Funny Girl_, her mom likes that movie too? That was so awesome to know. Shelby also liked an assortment of books that Rachel has never read yet, like _Pride and Prejudice, To Kill a Mocking Bird _and many others.

She can also see that some of Shelby's favorite artist are _Earth, Wind and Fire, The Temptations and Lenny Kravitz_.

Those were just to name a few, Rachel could go on and read about her mom's dislikes and likes all day.

Scrolling up a bit, Rachel spots a section that she seemed to have skipped over. It's titled 'Family'

This is her family , Rachel realizes. These people who are named under family, are blood related. They all share a connection to her.

There are three men named under brother, Matthew, Gary and Cole. Those must be her Uncles, Rachel thinks. There are two women tagged under sister, Jenna Corcoran is a sister-in-law, Rachel reads. The other one is Jillian.

Rachel decides now is the time to go to pictures and videos. The library only gives you one hour of computer time so she wants to use her time wisely.

She doesn't know the next time she will be able to visit.

The first few pictures are of Shelby by herself.

The pictures are few and far apart and Rachel has to wonder if Shelby is really a Facebook kind of person.

Rachel scrolls through the next few pictures of Shelby until she hits a new one. This picture is of Shelby sitting on a lazy boy recliner with three young girls all crowded around her.

The picture is captioned _"My babies." _

It's almost like a knife to the chest for Rachel as she observes the picture. She can't help but feel jealousy, and anger and betrayal? Shelby told her that she didn't have any other kids but could that have been a lie?

Rachel knows that they can very well be one of Shelby's siblings' kids, but her mind won't let her rationalize it now. Under the caption each girl is named in the picture with Shelby.

The oldest one, Katie, is 12 years old, she has long blonde hair and dark green eyes, she's tall probably even taller than Rachel. The next captioned is slightly younger, 5, the picture says. She has short brown hair and brown eyes, almost like Rachel, her name is Ariel. The youngest is what captures Rachel's eyes. She's sitting directly in Shelby's lap soaking in Shelby's tight embrace. The little girl is captioned to be 3 years old, Mia, she has long and dark curly locks with the biggest of brown eyes.

Rachel imagines it would be hard to say no to that one.

She wonders if Shelby would ever hold her like that.

If they could ever get another picture together.

Rachel goes a few more times to see pictures of all of her family. She had to say that these people were stunning and definitely had good looks. Everything about them screamed home. They were her family, a pretty close family by the looks of all the pictures.

She wonders how life would have been if her mother had kept her.

Finally Rachel reaches a video, she inserts her ear buds into her ears to listen. The picture is captioned 'Christmas 2013'.

This was last year's christmas. Last year on Christmas Rachel was at home with her parents. They didn't work holidays and they attempted to be a family on that day,It didn't work out though.

Rachel could see that her parents couldn't always stand to be around each other. It's like the love they had for each other when she was a little girl, that love was gone. Along with it seems like they lost the love for Rachel.

The tiny brunette struggles to watch the video as her thoughts began to take over. She turns the volume up and keeps her eyes on the screen.

The camera is pointed at Shelby as another woman begins to speak.

_"Alright guys I know all of the gifts have been passed around but we aren't done here yet. Mia has something for her Aunt Shelby that she has just been dying to give her all day." The woman behind the camera keeps the camera pointed at Shelby."Are you ready for it?"_

_"Of course, Jill, where is she?" Shelby asks. _

_"I right here Aunt Shelly." A head full of dark curls run past the screen and into Shelby's arms. _

_Shelby happily catches the little girl and gives her a quick kiss on the head. "I heard you have a gift for me."_

_Mia nods her head bringing her hands from behind her back."I drawed it." She hands Shelby a big piece of construction paper. _

_"You did?" Shelby pretends to be surprised. "You drew it for me?"_

_Mia nods excitedly, she really hopes her Aunt will like what she drew. "Look it."_

_Shelby couldn't help but smile down at her niece. _

_This picture would be going in her collection of Mia masterpieces. The 3-year-old loved to draw and everyone in the family had their own tiny collection. _

_Shelby looks down at the drawing to see a bunch of different things. A house along with a bunch of different stick figures. _

_"Let's see we have you, your Mommy,Daddy, Grandma and Grandpa, Katie, and Ariel, your cousin Isaac, and Aunt Jenna and uncle Matt." Shelby begins to read off all the people she sees in the picture. Man, their family was big." Uncle Gary, Uncle Cole, and me..."_

_Shelby stops as she reads off all the names of her family. _

_There's one extra person though. _

_"Mia, honey, who is this holding my hand?" Shelby asks the little girl. She thinks she knows the answer to that question but she wants to hear it from the little girl. _

_"It's my big cousin Wachel." Mia answers her Aunt." Wachel is your baby so she's family. She gots to be in a picture with all our family."_

_The little girl struggle to use her "r's" in every word she used which in turn caused the answer to be even more cute. Rachel keeps her eyes on Shelby as the woman stays silent for a few seconds looking down at the picture. It's like she's mesmerized by whats on the paper. _

_"Aunt Shelly you don't like it?" Mia pouts. _

_"No, no honey I do." Shelby wipes the tears from her eyes as she sniffles. "I love it so much."_

_She pulls Mia into a tight hug. _

_The video ends. _

Rachel doesn't know how to comprehend what just happened. Her mom's family knew about her, that was a given. But the little girl at only 3 years old knew about Rachel too. It seemed that Shelby talked about her often? Or did she mention Rachel a few times in passing?

Rachel didn't know how to feel about this. The little girl included someone she had never met before in a picture of their family. None of them could know how Rachel looked or who she was and yet here they were discussing her.

There are a billion thoughts in Rachel's head as she clicks through more of the photos. Did Shelby ever try to contact her fathers? After their chance meetings did her fathers' feelings change?

Rachel needed answers and she obviously wasn't going to get them by sitting and waiting. Her dads would have to tell her the truth sometime, right?

* * *

><p>As Rachel walked home her mind is filled with a billion and one questions. Along with what if and why?<p>

Now that she's older and can comprehend more of what is happening,will they finally tell her the truth? If last night was anything to go by then Hiram would be her enemy in all of this.

Rachel could admit it would be easier for them to spout lies and be hypocritical when they were never home. Whenever Rachel has had a problem within the last few years, they would ignore it and expect for her to figure it out herself. It was almost as if she was an adult already.

It was easier some nights to pretend that she was living on her own. That she was already grown and this was her home. It was crazy how no one ever asked her any questions about her home life. But then again no one cared.

Rachel was practically raising herself. It didn't matter if she was doing a good job or not, she didn't have a lot of role models to teach her right from wrong. She didn't know how to be a kid either or an adult for that matter. Buying things was easy, all you had to do was hand them the money and they most likely wouldn't ask you questions.

When Rachel joined Glee she didn't really know what she was looking for. Of course she loved to sing and everything within her told her that this was a stepping stone on the way to her dreams. But somewhere deep down inside she was looking for people that she could depend on.

There were times when Rachel felt truly needed and apart of the team, times like yesterday. They would include her in things and ask for her opinion. There were often other times when Rachel was content on being in the background because that's where she always fit in. At times like that Rachel would always question whether she could truly make it out of this town.

Those were the times when she truly believed in all the hateful things the other kids would spout off at the hallways, in class and pretty much all day. The things they would say were hurtful.

She fought so hard to make herself believe that those things aren't true. She prides herself on being able to wake up and take another day of all the bullying and hate. She had not a single friend in that school, not a single friend in her life.

It's what depresses her the most.

It's what she didn't want Shelby to ever have to find out.

Learning that you kid was a loser is a sure fire way to make sure that you stay away from them. Who wants a loser for a kid?

Rachel has to figure her dads surely don't.

Rachel has spent most of her time for the last 3 years trying to prove her worth, trying to assert herself into new situations, trying to stay strong. This time she felt like she was losing the battle.

Rachel wonders what her mom would do if she knew of all the things that went on in Rachel's life. She imagines that Shelby would be none too happy about it. Or would she think she was a loser?

Rachel finds herself wondering about a lot of things.

She used to be so lively, loud and bubbly. Sometimes overbearing and a little conceited. But all of that was stripped away from her with time. She's a tiny shell of what she used to be. She can't even remember what she used to be.

_"Mommy!" A young girl yells from inside of the playground. _

_Rachel has been so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't realize she had stopped to stand in front of a park. Even though it was a little chilly out here and it was only noon, there were kids still playing in the park. Shouldn't they be at school?_

_Rachel shakes her head to free herself from getting lost in her thoughts again. Her attention goes back to the little girl that had yelled for her mother at the top of the slide. It's a long slide and the little girl seems so tiny standing at the top. _

_Her chestnut curls frame her face making her nose, that seemed a little big, fit her face just a little more. Her eyes are wide and very expressive shining with excitement and delight. Rachel has to do a double take, "Was that her?_

_"Rachel baby be careful." Rachel almost faints as she spots the woman who she didn't think she would see at this park in a million years, Shelby. _

_Was she hallucinating? This could not possibly be real. _

_The woman had just called the little girl on top of the slide, Rachel, she had to be dreaming. Yet here they were, a younger version of herself and Shelby at the park. _

_Maybe Rachel was crazier than she thought. _

_There was no possible explanation to any of this that she was seeing right now. _

_Her eyes stay on Shelby as the woman comes to stand in front of the slide with Rachel, her, at the top waiting to be caught at the end. _

_"I'm always careful Mommy." The smaller version of Rachel puts her hands on her hips with a huff. "I'm a big girl remember?"_

_"Of course how could I forget." Shelby rolls her eyes at the 5-year-old. Rachel has tried to assert her independence ever since she turned 5 last year. "Just humor me and please stop standing on the slide please."_

_"Okay Mommy I'm coming down and you have to catch me." Rachel sits atop the slide preparing herself for the ride down. _

_"I'll always catch you baby girl." Shelby assures the little girl. _

_Real life Rachel has to wonder if baby and baby girl would have been a nickname for her Shelby would have used. It seems fitting since she was her baby girl. No one else's. _

_Before her mind can catch up to what is happening tiny Rachel slides down the slide and jumps into Shelby's arms. _

_"I made it Mommy did you see?" Rachel excitedly chatters in Shelby's arms. "I made it and you caught me."_

_"Did you ever doubt I would?" Shelby hugs the little girl closer to her. Shelby and Rachel seem to become frozen in time as they stop moving. Rachel doesn't understand what is happening as she watches the mother and daughter stop moving. _

"Oh god are you serious!"

Rachel is pulled from her little dream by loud yelling and herself being pushed back by a pair of hands. Confused the tiny girl looks around, she's in front of Granny's café and not the park. She must've zoned out on the way here, which was not a good thing. She does it a lot though. Zoning out at inappropriate times.

She blinks a few times to get her attention back in front of herself. What or who she sees in front of her is definitely not who she was expecting.

"Santana?"Rachel's eyes furrow. "Santana what are you doing out of school?"

"Hobbit!" Santana growls angrily as she looks down at herself. "I should have known I would bump into you while out here. Just my luck."

"What are you doing here?" Rachel ignores the nickname.

It isn't really hurtful coming from Santana like it used to be.

It's like Rachel is used to being called that by now, if she didn't know any better she would say it was a term of endearment.

"None of your business." Santana snaps. "I could ask the same question but then that would mean I care."

Rachel nods and lowers her head shamefully.

"Oh come on don't do that puppy dog shit." Santana groans. "It's annoying as hell. I should be the hurt one here I have steaming hot coffee all over me. Luckily I don't have third degree burns. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be-"

"In school? No." Rachel answers angrily. "I got suspended remember. For something that we all did but everyone else seems to like seeing me miserable."

"Woah down girl." Santana chuckles. "I've never really seen you talk this much since..."

Santana's sentence dies down at the last-minute. Rachel understands what she is saying without her having to say it.

"Right." Rachel nods in agreement. "Well most of the time I don't have time to chit-chat with people during school. My schedule is usually filled with slushie clean ups and trying to get out of the dumpsters behind the school. Now excuse me but I have places to be and I'm sure you would like for me to get out of your way."

Rachel steps around Santana without so much as a response from the other girl. She pretends that she doesn't see the look of remorse and guilt on the other girl's face. It wouldn't do her any good trying to figure out something that should be left alone.

"Wait hobbit, I mean Rachel." Santana turns to stop the girl. "I talked to your Mom yesterday. That choir chick from Carmel High."

Rachel stops in her tracks to turn back to the Latina.

How did she know about her Mom? She folds her arms and waits for Santana to explain. Now that she's looking at the slightly taller girl, the Latina doesn't seem as intimidating. It must be the lack of Cheerios uniform. Rachel hated those uniforms.

"She is your mom right?" Santana steps a little closer to the girl. Despite the coffee spilled all over herself, she continues to step a little closer to Berry. " Otherwise I gave a complete stranger your address."

Anger, confusion and an undefined expression crosses Rachel's face all at once. "You gave her my address?"

"She's your Mom so she probably should have already had it but yea." Santana shrugs. "She was asking a bunch of questions and shit. I must admit that woman seems fucking crazy and that's coming from me."

"I can admit Shelby did seem a bit intimidating." Rachel nods in agreement. "Things between Shelby and me are complicated. She's my birth mother but-"

"O-kay stop right there hobbit," Santana holds her hands up signaling for Rachel to stop.

"So we're back to hobbit?" Rachel asks.

"What?"

"Earlier,you called me Rachel,"The brunette reminds the Latina. "you know that is my name, right?"

"Yea whatever." Santana shakes her head at Rachel.

Did it really matter what she called the midget." I thought you would appreciate me not calling you fugly manhands for a change."

"Since when did you start caring about what I appreciate?" Rachel counters."You never cared before."

"I don't."Santana snaps back viciously. "Just listen, I'm not here to listen to you tell your whole life story. Don't you have a best friend for that or somethin'?"

"No, I don't." Rachel responds angrily. "I used to have one but she turned out to be a traitor like everyone else. She used to be someone who I could depend on and tell everything. It was her who turned on me for the likes of Quinn Fabray. I don't know where she is now. I probably wouldn't even recognize her if she was standing right in front of me."

This shocks Santana into silence. She is stunned and somehow hurt by what Rachel is saying. "Berry you don't mean that. I mean this girl sounds like she was your best friend. You obviously cared a lot for her. " Santana tries not to squirm under Rachel's heavy gaze.

"Emphasis on _was and cared _past tense." Rachel responds while tightening the bag on her shoulders."Now if you excuse me I have to be going home now."

Santana doesn't try to stop Rachel this time. She just watches the girl go without another word. There was that guilt again. Damn, she had to stop talking to the hobbit if she was going to feel like this every time.

* * *

><p>"Shelby do you really think what you did is okay?"<p>

Shelby takes a sip of her tea, looking across the counter at her older sister Jill who is nursing her own cup of tea. She wants to answer the question the best she can. Her eyes trail down to the tea in her cup and then to the necklace around her neck. She wonders if Rachel has found the necklace and envelope yet. She'd put it in a place so it wasn't hard to miss so she's assuming that the girl got it.

"Honestly Jill, yes." Shelby finally answers after a few beats. "You weren't there in the auditorium with her as she cried. And as beautiful as she was I could still see all of the hurt, the pain and grief. It's like there was a distance in her eyes that I could not describe if I wanted to. Like half of her wasn't there. She seemed defeated and just so sad, I couldn't leave her like that."

"I understand that, Shel, I do and that may be but it's not your job to make her feel better." Jill treaded lightly.

She had to be careful of her wording or the woman known as her sister would blow up. It was always hard to calm Shelby down when she got going. Green eyes met blue before someone started speaking again.

"Why isn't it? I'm her mother." Shelby argued. "I couldn't just walk away. I've done that already remember?"

"I know babe, "Jillian continued, tucking a loose strand of her short hair behind her ear," But did you ever think of how much it could hurt her? Or confuse her? She's 15 years old and she may be older than 5 but they don't always think straight either."

"I wasn't really thinking." Shelby relents and deflated. "I just wanted to talk to her and explain everything to her. I just wanted her to understand my side of the story. Did you know Hiram and Leroy told her I was a surrogate? That they told her I didn't want her?"

Jillian can hear the heartache inside of her sister's voice. She reaches across the table to take Shelby's hands in hers.

"Honey, I can't imagine or come up with a possible explanation for their reason of lying to her. I honestly can't."

"She just seemed so confused after I told her."Shelby's gaze was on their hands now. "I could sense that something was wrong with her and when she ran out of the auditorium we didn't have time to talk about it. I was talking to another student about her. Did you know that she doesn't have any friends?"

"No," Jillian relaxed in her seat a little. " That can't possibly be true. Kids lie."

"They call her the school loser Jill," Shelby began to get upset. "Yesterday when the whole team ratted her out, I could sense that they didn't really care if she got in trouble. Almost as if they were used to blaming that on Rachel. I couldn't stand to see her like that. I just...she seems so troubled."

"If she's troubled did you ever think that coming into her life would complicate things more?" Jillian replied. "Hiram and Leroy were not too happy about seeing you and that contract was drawn up just for that. I'm not telling you this to be harsh. I just don't want you to try to pursue something that you legally can't."

"I know," Shelby says dejectedly. "She's just, she's so perfect and all I wanted to do was hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay. She's my baby and I can't even do that."

"I know and I can't pretend that I understand how that feels."Jillian sympathizes with her sister. "I look at Mia and I can't imagine not having that crazy little girl in my life. When she goes to her dad's for the weekend a piece of my heart goes right along with her. But that's only a fraction of what you felt, right?"

Shelby nods and tries to wipe the tears from her eyes.

Words won't come to her right now. She's spent so many nights thinking of the last time she held her baby girl. 15 years ago to be exact, the one day she held Rachel. The doctors told her she could. She remembers it like it was yesterday, that was a day that would always be in her heart. She could never forget it.

_**December 19, 1999**_

_Rachel was born yesterday at 4 pounds and 9 ounces, a premature baby is what they call her. She was born two months early and even though she had chances of survival it wasn't looking good for her. She wasn't breathing on her own yet and the doctors noticed overnight, as they monitored the tiny baby, that she was missing something important. _

_So without another thought and much to the annoyance of the baby's fathers, the doctors called in the baby's mother. Hiram and Leroy fought tooth and nail to get them to change their minds but this is something the doctors wouldn't budge on. Sometimes all a baby needs is their mother. _

_Shelby gave birth only a day ago, she was still in the hospital being monitored herself. The doctors were in and out of her room throughout the day, running tests after test on her to figure out why she went into premature labor. The 16-year-old was in enough pain as it is, physically and mentally and all the tests taking and blood sampling weren't making it any better. _

_Shelby had fallen into a bit of depression in the one day that she was separated from her baby. No one was giving her answers on Rachel, Hiram and Leroy had come into her room a few times but other than that she got nothing. Her parents and siblings would come and visit but there was nothing they could do to make her feel any better. _

_She refused to eat and had gotten little to no sleep over the last 24 hours. Nothing could take away the feeling of missing her baby. Shelby knew since she was so young that there could be complications in her pregnancy. Even then she tried to do everything she could to make sure that her baby came out healthy and alive with all of her fingers and toes. She took all of her vitamins, she stopped partying, she stayed home more. She even read to the baby inside of her every night. Alice in Wonderland was one of her favorites to read to the little one. _

_But it still turned out not to be enough. _

_When Rachel's doctor's came to her with a proposition of sorts, Shelby immediately gave her consent. She would do anything for her baby girl. _

_So today would be the day that Shelby gets to officially meet her baby girl. Her mother, Maureen Corcoran, is wheeling her down the hallway that leads to the NICU. Shelby's strength isn't back to 100 % yet and it won't be for a while and the wheelchair was a must have. _

_"Now Mommy, I must warn you of all the things you will see before we walk into the NICU to see your baby girl." A nurse whose name Shelby has yet to learn yet begins to talk them. "It may all seem scary but I assure you it is all helping your baby."_

_Shelby kind of likes that they refer to Rachel as her baby. _

_Most of the doctors and nurses were aware of Shelby's decision of giving Rachel up for adoption. Most of them applauded her for being able to be so brave. Shelby doesn't feel very brave though. She hasn't stopped crying since yesterday. She only saw a tiny glimpse of the little girl before she was taken away from her. Rachel wasn't even crying when they removed her and it was the worst 3 hours of Shelby's life. _

_After they had stitched her up and given her meds for sleeping, all Shelby could dream about was her baby girl. _

_Shelby tries to continue to pay attention to what the nurse, Darla, was saying. This was all important information that she was spouting off. She looks up to see that her mother is listening intently while running her fingers lovingly through Shelby's hair._

_"Pay attention sweets." Maureen whispers lovingly into her daughter's ears. _

_Shelby nods and turns her gaze back to nurse Darla. _

_"Now what you will see is Rachel inside of an incubator. It's to keep her safe and away from all the germs out in the hospital. I hate to say that but we always take precaution and precision when taking care of our little patients who need the most help. We try to keep her temperature stable but you are here for something more." Darla begins. " Baby Rachel has many tubes attached to her body, which may seem like a lot and again scary, but they are helping her. I'm not going to give you the technical names of the machines because they may confuse you."_

_Shelby nods as she continues to listen. As long as they were helping her baby she didn't really care what they were. All she wanted to do was hold her daughter. _

_"Now Baby Corcoran isn't breathing on her own which is our main concern. She has an irregular heart beat as of now but we are working on it. She also has a few feeding tubes and a heart monitor that of course monitors the hear beat. Rachel is fine and we are doing the best that we can to help her." Darla makes sure Shelby is listening. "I know that there is a possibility for you to breastfeed but I know that would be asking for too much of you at a time like this."_

_Darla avoided mentioning the Berry Men during this conversation. This was about Shelby and her baby now. "Now I don't want to keep you away from her any longer. You are already scrubbed up and ready so let's go and see your baby."_

_Shelby perks up as her mother's fingers stop running through her hair only to begin to push the wheelchair. This was the moment she has waited for, for the past 7 months. It should have been 9 but things happen. _

_"Now Mommy, what we brought you in her for is because we believe that you could do something to help Rachel." Darla leads them to and end of the NICU where there is already a nurse watching over the incubator._

_Shelby sits straighter as she spots the tiny baby inside of the incubator. She tries to pretend that seeing her baby like this didn't break her heart, because it does. It hurts her to know that this could have been her fault. All of this was her fault. Her baby girl was hurt because of her. _

_As they wheeled closer and closer to the incubator, Shelby began to change her mind. She's going to hurt Rachel again, she just knows it. She can't do it._

_"Mom," Shelby turns to look at her own mother who has wheeled her to sit just in front of the incubator. _

_"She's fine don't be afraid." Maureen could sense her daughter's fears before she voiced them. _

_Shelby nods her head and turns back to Rachel, her sweet girl. The little girl is so tiny and red as she lies on her back inside of the incubator. There are tubes seemingly connected to every single part of the little girl's body. Shelby can make out the little girl's small tufts of brown hair on her head. _

_"If your put you hands inside of here you can hold your baby's hands." The nurse whispers to her, _

_Shelby knew that they were supposed to stay quiet at all times inside of the NICU. _

_Shelby nods and with her mother's help sits up more in her chair. She positions her hand inside of the incubator. She muscles up all the courage she has and reaches inside and tests the gloves. _

_Shelby's mouth twitches a little in nervousness and excitement as she runs her fingers gently over Rachel's body. She can see the tiny baby flinch at the contact but nothing else happens. Shelby gently brings her fingers up to Rachel's tiny red cheek,it's a feather light touch but the little girl seems to respond to it, turning her tiny head in the most subtle way. _

_Shelby's fingers run lightly over Rachel's cheeks as she inspects the tiny girl. All ten fingers and all ten toes, yes!_

_Her eyes scan to the tiny diaper that seems almost too tiny, up to Rachel's chest that signals each breath she takes, that and the heart monitor on the other side of the incubator. All the way up to Rachel's tiny mouth and her face with eyes closed and her lids are donned with the longest of lashes. _

_Shelby wishes she can see Rachel open her eyes. She somehow knows that she won't be here for that moment. _

_Her fingers continue to rub Rachel's tiny cheek gently as she just watches her baby. _

_"Would you like to hold her now?" Darla appears on the other side of her. _

_Shelby's eyes flutter from her daughter to the nurse. _

_Biting her bottom lip nervously, she asks "I can? I mean she's so tiny. I think I would hurt her."_

_"Yes you can and you won't hurt her," Darla and the other nurse prepare as they begins to open the incubator. "That's what you are here for. Babies need something called skin-to-skin contact. It helps them relax and even though her fathers could have done this we think this is something a mother should do."_

_Shelby nods with wide eyes as they carefully take Rachel out of the incubator. She didn't think she would get to hold the tiny baby as much as she wanted to. She thought it was just something they were telling her to get her here. _

_"unbutton your shirt please, Mommy." Darla speaks softly. _

_Shelby does as she is told, all the while not taking her eyes off of Rachel. There is no time for modesty now and Shelby doesn't feel embarrassed at all. Not after all the doctor visits and probing and testing. _

_As Shelby sits back in her chair, she wonders how in the world she could hold the little girl with all of the tubes connected to her._

_"Don't worry you'll be fine." Maureen assures her daughter. This was the moment they had all been seemingly waiting for. The moment Shelby talked about the most during her pregnancy, something they thought they would never see, _

_Shelby's eyes don't leave her daughters as the nurses gently lay Rachel atop her chest. They position all the tubes so they wouldn't interfere with this sweet moments. Shelby gasps as she feels how Rachel's skin feels against her for the first time. _

_Rachel breathing has slowed down a little, which could either be a good thing or bad thing, but the nurses weren't panicking. Shelby slowly raises her hands to support the little girl against her chest. _

_She runs her fingers over Rachel's body for the first time without gloves. She is so tiny and Shelby is afraid to move in fear of dropping her. _

_"My perfect baby girl." Shelby whispers to herself as she drops a kiss to Rachel's cheek. In all of her 16 years of life, she has never felt so accomplished until now. She didn't understand her purpose in life until now. Shelby doesn't even notice her mother who is snapping away with her Polaroid. _

_Shelby's eyes observe Rachel's tiny body in awe as the newborn breathes in and out against her chest. _

_"See Mommy you're helping her already." Darla smiles as she signals to the monitors around them. _

_Shelby's gaze flickers to the charts and monitors for a few second before going back to Rachel. _

_Tears drop from her eyes more and more, as she holds the girl longer. She wants to hold her daughter forever and never let go. In that moment she wants to give her daughter the world. _

_Sitting in this hospital room holding the girl tells her something else, she can't do that. She's only 16 years old and a junior in high school. She has to finish, she has to graduate. _

_She can't give Rachel the world like she wants to. _

_That's when she knows she is doing the right thing by giving her baby girl up. She doesn't want Rachel to suffer because of her. _

_Shelby wants to believe so desperately that her baby will be better off with the Berry Men. That she's giving the tiny girl lying against her chest a better chance at life. Rachel deserves her best chance in this world. _

_The nurses can see that Shelby is getting upset and they knowing this can't be good for Rachel. Shelby has to say goodbye to her daughter. In all of a year her life has been changed ,maybe for the better, She's wiser because of it. _

_But there will always be a missing piece of her heart no matter where she goes. _

_In the moment that Shelby is wheeled out of the NICU, she wonders if she was really giving Rachel her best chance. _

* * *

><p><strong>An: So I'm not a doctor or nurse or anything, so some of this medical stuff may be wrong. I kind of wrote what sounded right to me, but if any of you know better I can always come back and change it. **

**Please Review they mean a lot, **

**-LSAM**


	7. Please Give Me A Sign

Chandeliers

By: LockedSoulsAM

Summary: Have you ever felt so empty and alone that you just wanted it to be over? The feelings of pain, hurt, and depression always coursing through your know how it feels to wake up everyday and pretend that everything is okay. Rachel Berry felt like this all the time until that day on the roof. That day changed everything, maybe even for the better.**Trigger Warnings- Dark Themes Ahead **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Glee I wouldn't be on here. **

**I own this story line and any new characters that come with it. **

**A/N: I'm glad you all liked the last chapter. Your reviews are always welcome and I love reading all of them. **

**Enjoy =)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 7 Please Give Me A Sign<p>

Kyle didn't even have time to acknowledge his baby cousin as she stormed through the front door and up the stairs to the second floor. He didn't know whether to go after her and ask her what was wrong or if he should just leave her alone.

Judging by the determined look she sported while walking past him, Kyle decided that he would leave her be for now.

Rachel hasn't been gone for more than three hours so nothing could be that serious.

Kyle could admit he was curious about what his little cousin had done for her to get suspended for 5 days. Rachel was never a troublemaker and she always stuck to herself, whether by choice or because no one would actually talk to her. Rachel wasn't shy, per-say, but she was quiet at times, he'd noticed over the past day.

Kyle remembers a time when the young girl was less than quiet and she always had a spark in her eye. That spark was gone but her star still glowed,if that made any sense. It was like the little girl from six years ago was gone. Of course it was six years ago and people change, but there was something different about Rachel. Kyle had done some pretty wicked things but in the end Rachel would still want to be his friend.

She had a naturally forgiving nature and she wasn't one to hold grudges. The last prank Kyle did caused Rachel to be wary of him, but she wasn't as angry as she let on.

No matter how many pranks Kyle and his friends had played on her she would always continue to want to hang out with them. Sometimes it was like Rachel just enjoyed to sit back and observe them. That's something about Rachel that he hoped would never change.

Even though it was creepy at times, Rachel would just sit and watch people. Not downright staring but she'd just observe the person and try to see the real them. It was like Rachel was still all that was good and innocent left in the world. She used to be so optimistic and happy all of the time.

It's like she always saw the best in people when others couldn't. Not to mention Rachel didn't have at least an ounce of filtration when it came to talking to people. She wasn't like that anymore, not one bit. She used to be so confident and a little arrogant.

Kyle used to question how a girl so young could carry herself with such grace and confidence. Rachel was a smart kid and she always knew what she wanted. Kyle couldn't say the same for himself. He'd have to take notes from his little cousin.

Shaking his head, Kyle looks at the stairs that Rachel had just stormed up, sighing he returns to the kitchen where he was trying to figure out how to fix his laptop. He's thinking if he can fix it by tomorrow maybe he could let Rachel have it so she would have something to do. It was an old laptop but he thinks she would be happy to have it. At least she wouldn't be so bored anymore. He didn't know how his uncles would feel about it though. For some reason they treated Rachel so differently than they used to. They've been at work so far today but if last night was anything to go by, everything has changed.

He's been gone so long he doesn't even know what's happening. Maybe he'd talk to his uncles. The least they could do is tell Rachel the truth about her mom. Everyone deserved to know where they came from.

* * *

><p>Rachel didn't even have time to acknowledge Kyle as she stormed through the front door of her house and up the stairs. She had one thing on her mind and she didn't have any time to waste.<p>

Hiram and Leroy wouldn't be home for a few more hours but Rachel felt that she should do this now. If she finds what she is looking for she will have facts and she will know if they are lying. Why they lied to her was beyond her. Why they did anything they did was beyond her.

It seems like the angriest her Dad has gotten with her was when she mentioned her Mom. When she was younger she would always ask about the woman. As she got older more questions came and the angrier her fathers got. In the end Rachel stopped asking them about her but she never stopped being curious.

It was like there was a piece of her mind that was unsettled.

She couldn't help but to think about her mother all of the time. Picturing them in different places together, laughing and smiling. Rachel always imagined Shelby coming and taking her away from this town, from this school, and from these people.

At night when she couldn't sleep and her mind wouldn't let her relax, she would think back to those two chance encounters with Shelby. The first time she didn't even know who the woman was. But Shelby had saved her from a potentially dangerous situation, now that Rachel really thinks about it. Even if Rachel didn't know it then.

_**March 10, 2004**_

_Rachel didn't know what she was thinking. She'd only stepped away from her daddies for a minute. She only wanted to see all of the bouncy balls in the toy aisle. But this grocery store was gigantic to a tiny 5 year old like Rachel. _

_She couldn't remember exactly what aisle she had come from. She doesn't even know if her Daddies have left her or not. As a few people walked past the little girl, they questioned where her parents were. Nobody stopped to ask her though, figuring that the little girl had wondered away for a second. _

_Rachel though was thinking something different. She couldn't find her daddies and this was all becoming so scary. She wondered if her daddies had left her here in the grocery store. She didn't want to stay here forever. She didn't like the idea of that at all. _

_"Daddy?" Rachel called out as she slowly walked down an aisle. She hasn't been down this one yet but it seemed familiar. Rachel had been to this grocery store a few times but not enough to know where she was going. _

_Rachel looked around the aisle to see what they sold here. It looked like a bunch of baby stuff. The only two people in the aisle were Rachel and a woman who was trying to decide what pull-ups she should get. Rachel was about to walk down to the woman to ask for help, when a large figure came to stand in front of her. _

_"Are you lost little girl?" The man asked laying a giant hand on Rachel's tiny shoulder. He leaned so that he was level with Rachel and gave her a small smile. _

_"I can't find my daddy." Rachel whimpered and looked up at the man. "I need to find him."_

_"Do you have any idea where he went?" The man looked at Rachel closely, before looking around the aisle."I could help you look for him ."_

_Rachel shook her head and shrunk into herself a little._

_She didn't really know this man and she wasn't supposed to be talking to strangers. Her eyes meet the woman's behind them who has stopped looking at diapers. To Rachel this man was entirely innocent,he only wanted to help her. If he was going to find her daddies she would go._

_Before Rachel or the man could say anything else, the woman came to stand beside Rachel and looked to the man. _

_"Rachel,baby,you know better than to run away from me like that."The woman kneeled close to Rachel and pulled her back a little. _

_Rachel looked from the woman and then to the man. _

_How did this lady know her name? Did this woman know her daddies? Maybe she could take her to them. As Rachel opens her mouth to say something else the woman begins to speak again. _

_"I'm sorry,sir, but she's okay." The woman with pretty blue eyes nodded at the man. _

_Shelby wasn't stupid or dumb in any sense of the word. _

_She had watched this man approach the little girl, and maybe he was only trying to help her, but she wouldn't be taking that chance. Not under her watch and especially not if she could help. _

_What Shelby couldn't explain was why she had called this little girl Rachel. She didn't understand how it had slipped so easily from her lips. But somehow it only seemed right, if not natural. _

_Shelby needed this creepy man in a baseball cap and dark clothes to walk away. She would not let this little girl be taken away under her watch. By the look on the man's face when he spotted the little girl, he didn't know her at all. Of course Shelby didn't know her either but this man creeped her out. She wouldn't be taking any chances.__Shelby had to make him believe that this was her child. She only hoped that the little girl didn't say anything to bring further conversation with the man. Shelby looked down at the little girl to see that she was looking up at her with questioning eyes._

_Trying to assess the whole situation, Rachel didn't say anything, she continued to watch the man as she backed into Shelby a little more. Shelby didn't creep her out as much. Not to mention her eyes were a pretty blue color. They seemed warmer than the man's hazel ones. _

_"I was only trying to help." The man stood to his full height and held his hands up in surrender. He looked from Rachel to Shelby and noticed that the little girl looked exactly like this woman, if not her munchkin clone. "She was lost and I was going to help her find her daddy? Where is he?"_

_"I'm sure you were."Shelby raised a brow and looked at the man. "He's in another aisle thank you very much. She's fine so we will be going now. Come on baby let's go find daddy together."_

_Pull ups forgotten, Shelby takes Rachel's tiny hand in her own, not getting a protest in response, they both walked to a different aisle. Shelby stopped and kneeled down in front of the girl. _

_"Sweetie do you know where you last saw your daddy?"_

_Rachel scrunched her nose in thought. It looked like they were getting tomatoes when she had stepped away, or was it milk? She couldn't really remember. _

_"Rachel!" A panicked voice yelled from behind the girl. _

_Rachel and Shelby both turned to see a tall African American man coming towards them. _

_"So her name was Rachel?" Shelby thought as she glanced from Rachel to the man, trying to find an ounce of recognition in the girl's eyes. His voice sounded so familiar to her. _

_"Daddy."Rachel cried jumping into the man's arms. _

_"Oh ,sweet pea, you know not to run away from us like that." Leroy Berry hugged his little girl closer to him. _

_"I'm sorry daddy." Rachel cried burying her face into her father's neck. "But I only wanted to see the bouncy balls."_

_"I know but you're in big trouble, young lady." Leroy breathed before opening his eyes, his gaze landing on Shelby._

_That's when Shelby realized she knew this man. Her eyes continued to flicker from Leroy and then to the little girl in his arms, her little girl she concluded. There was no denying it as Shelby looked at the man in front of her. Holding her little girl in his arms, the same little girl she hasn't seen since her second day in the hospital. _

_It was all too much for the 20 year old to process as she looked between them and backed away. She couldn't handle it right now, it was all too soon. She had only intended to help the little girl find her parents. Shelby didn't know what to make of this situation. _

_Never in a million years, had she thought she would see Rachel again. Shelby continued to back away, not even giving Leroy a chance to speak. It was just too much for her and Shelby found herself not being able to breathe. _

_She quickly exited the grocery store and into the car where her older sister Jill was waiting. _

_"Did you get the pull ups?" Jill asked as she tried to quiet her 2 year old niece in the backseat. _

_Shelby tearfully shook her head no, the words not coming to her. If she spoke the sobs she was desperately trying to hold in would come out and Shelby doesn't really want to cry. _

_"Shelby?" Jill sat up in her seat. "Are you okay?"_

_Shelby looked to her sister with teary eyes and shook her head. She was less than okay. She hadn't been okay since the day she gave her baby away. Now after 5 years she ran into the girl and one of her fathers.__Shelby didn't understand how after all of this time she could run into them. There were many times she would go places and pretend the little girls there were her child. She'd imagine what her daughter would be like and what would happen if she ran into her daughter._

_But as Shelby's mind registered the two people back inside of the grocery store, the only thing she could do was run. Her mind wasn't really able to process what was happening. She'd always thought about what it would be like to meet Rachel but it still seemed so soon. She doesn't think she will be able to handle it. _

_Back in the grocery store, Leroy was going through some of the same feelings as he explained to his husband what happened. Hiram wasn't too happy with Rachel and her running away, but this new piece of information was less than settling. _

_The man was kind of glad that Shelby had run away. _

_The contract was there for a reason and if Shelby had stayed to talk there was no telling what could happen. It could confuse Rachel and he didn't want that. _

_He would tell the little girl about her mother if she asked. But until then he was fine with not speaking of the woman. _

_If Rachel didn't ask he wouldn't mention it in detail. _

_He hoped his little girl would be content with just having her daddies forever. But he knew the day would come when Rachel asks about her, and it just might break his heart to answer. _

As Rachel remembered that day in her head, she went over a few things. One, why were her fathers' not paying enough attention to see her walk away, she wouldn't hold that against them though. Two, whether or not that man was really trying to help her. Finally her third question was why Shelby ran after Leroy had found them?

Maybe it was too soon for her? Honestly, Rachel doesn't even know if she wants a relationship with Shelby. One side of her, the side that craves a mother, wants to pursue it and see where it goes. But the other side is telling her that she will only get hurt in the process.

Her father's were less than happy about the idea of her even talking about Shelby. She doesn't know why but she will find out. She was tired of being kept in the dark about all of this.

Rachel makes her way into their bedroom and straight to their closet. She knows that they keep all of the important stuff in the closet inside of a safe-box. Rachel stands on the tip of her toes to reach the top shelf of the closet. She hates being so short sometimes.

Feeling around for the safe-box, Rachel's fingers finally touch something tiny and metal in the back of the closet.

"Got it." She thought as she struggled to get the box in her hands. Rachel quickly pulls the box down from the shelf.

It's a medium sized box, big enough to keep papers in, and it was a sliver gray metal type of safe. She decides it would be best to just search for everything right here. She had plenty of time to find what she was looking for. Not that she really expects to find anything.

Rachel's eyes don't leave the box as she sits on top of her parents' bed. Slipping one foot under her, Rachel opens the box. There are a bunch of tax papers and old bills and things like has never been inside of this box but she would always see her dads putting important papers in here. She just assumed this box would have all of the things she would need.

After leafing through a few more bills and bank statement papers, Rachel finds something that catches her eye. Her birth certificate, reading through it she finds that Shelby's name is even on it. Back then they didn't recognize gay couples as the parents of a child.

Rachel sets the birth certificate aside and goes through a few more papers. She finds her adoption papers, finally naming Hiram and Leroy Berry as her official adoptive parents. Rachel also sets the papers in her keep file, but this isn't what she is looking for.

Leafing through a few more official papers, Rachel comes upon a small stack of stapled papers. Rachel set this in the pile too. There are also a bunch of different e-mails that she quickly skims her eyes over. They are from a man whose e-mail address Rachel doesn't recognize.

"Kids?" A male's voice booms from the floor below as the front door opens and closes. "We're home."

Rachel quickly returns all of the unwanted papers back into the safe box and slips it under the bed. She takes the stack of papers she wants and cuts the light off. They are home early today, they've been doing that a lot lately. There must be a party later on tonight they have to get ready for.

"Rachel, I know you didn't spend all day in your room did you?" Leroy asks his daughter as he hangs his coat up.

"I'm grounded so pretty much." Rachel rolls her eyes.

It's not the truth but he could believe what he wanted.

Rachel takes her last few steps and comes to stand in front of her fathers. They both look from each other then back to Rachel. What did she want now?

"What is it?" Hiram sighs at his daughter.

Hiram notices the look on Rachel's face and down to the papers in her hands. He knew when Rachel had her mind set on something she wouldn't give up. He had an idea of what Rachel was about to talk about.

"You were in our room?" Hiram asks.

Rachel nods quietly looking down at the papers in her hands. It's time for them to talk and now is better than never. They had to listen to her sometime, right?

"I was but I just need some answers." Rachel spoke. "I'm old enough for you to tell me the truth. That's all I ask."

"You aren't going to let this go any time soon are you?" Leroy asks his daughter almost already knowing the answer.

"I wouldn't have to let it go if you had told me the truth from the beginning."Rachel murmurs." and no I think I deserve to know who my real parents are."

"Your real parents?" Hiram unfolds his arms and steps closer to his daughter."Your real parents are the two people right in front of you. Your real parents are the ones who have taken care of you since you were 3 days old. Your real parents are the ones who were with you every single day you were lying in that incubator fighting for your life. Your real parents were the ones who took you to all of your recitals, and soccer games, and dance competitions. Your real parents are the ones who sat in the emergency room with you all night when you twisted your ankle during ballet when you were 7."

"Hiram," Leroy tried to get his husband to calm down.

"Your real parents are the ones who put a roof over your head and food in your mouth, and clothes on your back." Hiram yelled. "Your real parents are the ones who have been dealing with you all of these years. Not some punk kid and the guy she got knocked up by. You want to know the truth?"

Rachel nods almost afraid of what Hiram will say. She didn't really know why her father was so angry. Why couldn't he understand where she was coming from with all of her questions?

It was almost like her whole life was a lie. All of these years she thought her mother was someone who they had found on craigslist. Someone who was only meant to carry their baby for them.

"The truth is your mother wasn't anything but the typical high school girl." Hiram began despite Leroy's protests. "She partied and drank and she practically dropped out of high school. Her father and I were actually pretty good friends when he told me about her being pregnant. He told us that she wanted to give her baby up for adoption."

"Hiram calm down please." Leroy tried get his husband to think clearly. "She doesn't deserve to find out like this. We should sit and talk."

"Find out about what?" Rachel looked from both of her parents. Hiram seemed to calm as her realized what he was about to reveal to his daughter.

"Rachel,sweet pea, your mother was less than ready for motherhood." Leroy took over for his husband. "Your mother was drinking the night she went into labor with you. Shelby never wanted you in the first place and she went through everything she could to not have you. You were 2 months early for a reason. She might have told you it was an accident but it wasn't."

Rachel watched her father's exchange a quick glance. She saw right through their lies. "You're lying she would never."

"Really you got all of that from meeting her what a day now?" Hiram folded his arms again."We knew her for almost 2 years before she got pregnant with you. She was a troublemaker and she was nothing but grief to her parents. Sort of like you are being right now. We kept the truth from you for a reason."

"No you're lying!" Rachel wiped the tears from her face.

When had she started crying?

"You're lying because you're afraid if I know the truth I might actually want a relationship with her." Rachel continued as she shook her head at her parents. "All you do is lie to me. My whole life has been a lie."

"How do you know we are lying?" Leroy began to get annoyed at being called a liar. "Everything we are telling you is the truth. Take it or leave it. Whatever Shelby has told you is less than that. Don't let your judgement cloud your perception of the truth."

"You're lying and I don't believe you." Rachel shouted.

She didn't know who to believe right about now. Maybe they were telling the truth. So was Shelby lying? Rachel's head has been filled with so many lies that she can't even tell the difference anymore.

"So we are liars now?"Hiram asks his daughter now. "Becuase you let this woman come into your life and change everything. I'm not sugarcoating anything else. Rachel I've been pretty sick of your behavior the past few years. You've changed so much and I don't like it one bit."

"It wouldn't be the first time you have lied." Rachel is angry now and her face is turning red as hot tears slip down her cheeks." I deserve to be angry and you shouldn't have to sugar coat anything for me. I'm old enough or did you forget that too? I'm surprised you are sober enough to have this conversation right now?"

"Guys is everything okay?"Kyle finally steps into the foyer. He'd heard his uncles come in earlier but he wanted to give them some time to talk with Rachel.

"We're fine." Leroy assures his nephew with a smile, despite the scene happening in front of them.

"No we're not fine." Rachel interrupted."You both always try to come and dictate my life when it seems best for you. You're parents when it's convenient or when you want to be. You both pretend that we are just this happy fucking family and that everything is fine. Neither of you are home ever and even seeing you now is like spotting BigFoot."

"Rach," Kyle stepped over to his cousin to calm her.

Rachel was physically shaking in her spot as her face went red. He'd never seen her so angry before.

"No let her keep going." Hiram held up his hand to stop Kyle. He wanted to listen to what Rachel had to say for once.

"No Kyle I don't care anymore." Rachel yanks from Kyle's reach."You don't sugarcoat so neither will I. You both are horrible parents who shouldn't even have that title anymore. You're not home and you don't care so why should I? At least Shelby had the decency to come and check on me when I was sad. You both just ignore everything and pretend that we are just the perfect little Stepford family when we aren't. I'm tired of being treated like I don't exist anymore."

Leroy and Kyle watched as Rachel got angrier and she was speaking harshly and fast, not to mention she dropped the 'f bomb' which is something she never did.

Rachel prided herself for not using coarse language, at least she used to, all of her manners and the respect for her fathers were out the window.

This was just what Rachel needed as she finally let go.

"You pay more attention to your work than you do your own child." Rachel continued. "I'm tired of feeling unwanted and invisible. That's they way you treat me so maybe I should do the same. I don't even watch you as my parents any more. Maybe I will be better off with Shelby. I know you're lying. You are a liar and a hyprocite. Because if what you say is true, there is nothing that she could ever do that could make me hate her as much as I hate you both."

Rachel stopped to take a breath as she inhaled sharply.

She was just so angry and everything was coming out, she couldn't really stop herself.

"So go ahead and ground me, whip me or send me away. But I will never forgive you for how you both have made me feel the past few years. I'm practically grown anyway I've been raising myself the last three years. You've never come to any of my glee competitions or anything else. I would be better off with Shelby anyways. At least she'll be there."

Rachel doesn't give her father's time to respond before she is out the door and down the street. If she stayed any longer she wouldn't be able to control what comes out of her mouth.

Hiram looks from his husband to his nephew not knowing what to think of Rachel's outburst. No words would come to him as he tries to process what Rachel had said. He follows in her foot steps and walks out of the front door.

Leroy looks at his nephew and apologizes.

"I'm sorry that you had to see that."

"Don't mind me." Kyle spoke." You should be worried about your 15 year old daughter that just left the house angry and hurt."

Kyle leaves his uncle standing in the foyer.

He didn't know Rachel was this hurt and he didn't realize how much he has missed in this house.

* * *

><p>Rachel doesn't exactly know where she is going as she angrily walks down the street. She's been walking for 10 minutes and the adrenaline pumping through her veins has kept her from breaking down on the middle of the sidewalk right now.<p>

She just had to get away from home in a while. It didn't matter if she was going to be in trouble when she got home.

Rachel only needed some time to herself. Being in that house made her feel even angrier and she doesn't know what else.

She could feel all of the anger leaving her body as it was replaced with exhaustion and hurt. She was tired of feeling like this.

* * *

><p>It's been a few hours since Rachel has left the house and found herself at the park down the road. She settled herself on a park swing and pushed lazily as she read over the contract.<p>

Rachel has been reading over these papers for the better part of an hour. Much of it was saying that Hiram and Leroy were here legal parents and that Shelby isn't allowed to have contact with her until she is 18. There are also paragraphs on repercussions for if the woman ever tried to contact Rachel. There was nothing on the paper that said Rachel couldn't pursue Shelby.

Was that some sort of loophole?

Could Rachel really pursue a relationship with Shelby if she wanted? Is that why Shelby gave her the number to call her? She doesn't want the woman to get into any kind of legal trouble because of her.

Rachel has gotten a little insight on what she is searching for but is this really what she wants?What if Shelby realizes that having a daughter isn't really something she wants? Or that Rachel isn't really who she wants?

What if she wasn't good enough for her mother?

Rachel thinks this is what terrifies her the most.

She is never good enough and that's all she wants to be for Shelby. She does want a relationship but she's scared.

She also doesn't want to live her life wondering what if.

Tonight she would think it over and tomorrow would be a new day.

She wonders what Shelby is doing right now.

* * *

><p>Shelby has just gotten out of the tub she has been soaking in. She'd taken the hot bubble bath to soak and relax her mind as the day's worries rolled off her back.<p>

Her Vocal Adrenaline kids could really be annoying sometimes and even though Jesse St. James was her favorite, he annoyed her too. The kids had moaned and groaned about having to clean up what the McKinley kids have done , even though it may not have been fair,It would do them some good to step off of their high horses and do some real work.

It was also an excuse for Shelby to day dream in her office. She hasn't stopped thinking about Rachel since meeting the girl yesterday. Shelby had found herself waiting by the phone a few hours ago and all she could do was sigh and try to hide her disappointment.

Maybe she was pushing it by trying to form a relationship with the girl. Despite the contract, Shelby was putting the ball in Rachel's court so to speak. Shelby didn't want to push the girl into something that she wasn't ready for.

She would understand if Rachel never wanted to see her again. The teen was already going through so much and to bring her birth mother into it, Rachel had a heavy load.

Shelby wishes she could bring Rachel home with her and just love and care for her. Something that the woman has a feeling Rachel isn't getting at home. If only Rachel could give her a sign that she wants to try.

All she needs is a sign.

**A/n: I had a little bit of trouble with this chapter but I hope you liked it enough to review. They are always appreciated and I like talking to you guys a lot. What would you like to see next chapter? More Rachel/Shelby? More Pezberry? or more of Rachel and her parent's drama? Your opinion matters. **

**Review please,**

**-LSAM**


	8. Digging Into The Past

Chandeliers

By: LockedSoulsAM

Summary: Have you ever felt so empty and alone that you just wanted it to be over? The feelings of pain, hurt, and depression always coursing through your know how it feels to wake up everyday and pretend that everything is okay. Rachel Berry felt like this all the time until that day on the roof. That day changed everything, maybe even for the better.**Trigger Warnings- Dark Themes Ahead **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Glee I wouldn't be on here. **

**I own this story line and any new characters that come with it. **

**A/n: I haven't update since last year. Gee, I'm really slacking. But I'm here now with another chapter that will hopefully meet your standards. Please excuse the mistakes since my computer has overlooked all of them and I had to read over 4 times to fix most of them.**

**Enjoy =)**

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><p>Chapter 8 - Digging Into The Past<p>

Contract, adoption papers, birth certificate, emails and a form for restraining order. For four hours Rachel has looked over these papers that decided her fate long before she was born. These papers were the reason her mother stayed away. These papers are the reason that Rachel is so afraid to form a relationship with the one person that she thinks might actually care.

Rachel has been sitting on this park swing for four hours already. All alone with no one to talk to. Her parents haven't come to look for her. They never did.

There were times a few years ago when Rachel was younger, she would run away for hours, Hiram and Leroy would be frantic and out looking for her. She would get in trouble as soon as they found her, it was always a new place. The cafe' or the train tracks, or the park or the old train station on 4th. They lived in a bunch of different places so Rachel always had a new place to hide.

Over time they stopped coming to look for her and would just let her be. She always came back anyway. In those times she would run away, Rachel never had a clue where she was going. She would just follow wherever her feet lead her and sit there for a while.

She was always alone and no one would bother her. Right now Rachel wishes someone would. She was tired of being alone. Sometimes she would sing but right now she wasn't in the singing mood. She hasn't been lately.

Rachel's life is just a giant mess and she feels like she's drowning. If she were to jump off a bridge or something of that nature who would they call to confirm it was her? Would her parents even attend her funeral? Would they be able to live without her?

With those thoughts always looming in her head, Rachel wonders if she will ever be happy. If she will ever stop feeling like she is such a nuisance in the world. Will someone ever look at her like Finn Hudson looks at Quinn Fabray? Will she ever have a family that truly loves her?

Will being herself ever be good enough?

Rachel can't count how many times she's wanted to end it. She can't remember how many times she's wanted to just pull the plug where she's standing. It would take all of the burden off of everyone. They wouldn't have to be bothered ever again.

It would certainly be easier for her. Rachel doesn't know if she believes in the afterlife or heaven and hell. She's supposed to be Jewish/Christian but she hasn't spent a day in church or temple.

When she was little, she noticed how people would look at her fathers when they would hold hands in public. Rachel thought it was normal while others thought it was wrong. She didn't understand why people would shun them in certain stores or why people didn't like her because of who her dads are.

There were even people who would spout off bible verses at them when they were at the park. Those were the people Rachel tried to stay away from the most. Those people would look at her dads with such hate and disgust and then look at her with sympathy and something else she couldn't quite understand.

None of it made sense at all. They were just two humans that loved each other. Rachel used to think about that a lot. She decided a long time ago that she wasn't exactly gay or straight. Growing up with her father's she'd learned to love who she wanted to. She promised herself that whoever she fell in love with she would never be ashamed of it.

Now it's a question of will she ever have someone that loves her back? In every sense of the word love.

For now she will just worry about making it another 's getting chilly out here and even though she is wearing pants today, her small jacket and tennis shoes won't help her in the slightest. Plus Rachel's stomach has been grumbling something fierce for almost 2 hours.

This brings her to think about the first time she ran away, as she exited the park. She was 10 years old and it was a few months after Kyle and his parents moved doesn't know why she ran away that day. Her fathers had just made her so angry that she had to get away. It was summer so it was earlier in the day. All Rachel remembers that day is talking to a beautfiul woman for almost half an hour before she had to leave. That was one of the times her fathers actually came looking for her.

Rachel has had time to think about this woman and it didnt take long for her to remember the exact same woman in the grocery store when she was 5 years old, that woman was her mother. Back then, Rachel wouldn't have figured it out so easily, but she'd heard her fathers talking about her and Shelby the next night.

This caused Rachel to ask more questions about Shelby. Hiram and Leroy didn't take it so well and would always brush her off with a few details and a pat on the head. To them Shelby shouldn't matter to Rachel. She was no one to the girl. But to Rachel, Shelby was her saving grace, her gaurdian angel who seemed to appear when she was ready to give up.

If only her fathers could realize this. She only wanted to know where she came from. She wanted to know her roots and her biological family. It amazed her how there are actually people out there in this world that may genuinely care and love her.

Getting to them wouldn't be so easy. If these email copies are anything to go by, then her family wanted to see her when she was younger. Her parents were totally against that and threatened to bring the police into everything. So they stayed away.

Once Rachel began to run away more often her parents would stop worrying where she was. They would just brush past her when she came in and continue their day. Sometimes when Rachel would run away, she'd wish for that woman from the park to come and find her.

Her fathers only parented when it was truly needed, which was when Rachel would get into trouble at school. Most of the time it wasn't her fault. But no one would listen to that either.

The only person in all of her years of school that seemed like they may care was Ms Pillsbury. Sometimes she would miss everything that she was supposed to be paying attention to though. But other times Ms Pillsbury would go out of her way to help Rachel. She'd even helped her make extra money by suggesting her to the school clinic a few weeks ago.

It was a good way to make money and it was nice that the school nurse was nice to her. Rachel never let on what was going on at home. No one could take her away from her parents. They were neglecting her but who in the world cared enought to tell?

No one cared enough to ask questions.

* * *

><p>"So is this a regular occurence?" Kyle asked his uncle as he set Rachel's plate of food in the microwave. He figured that whenever his younger cousin came back, from wherever she was, she would be hungry. "Rachel running away and all."<p>

"You could say that." Leroy nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders. " She usually comes back after a few hours but we don't worry."

"Usually?" Kyle asks incredously. " So your 15 year old daughter is running around Lima Heights Adjacent for hours without you having any knowledge of where she is?"

"I never said we didn't know where she was." Leroy argued." Rachel is old enough to know that this is not a way to get attention. She's been doing it for a while."

"And you just let her," Kyle concluded. "Unbelievable." He muttered.

"Like I said she always comes back." Leroy replied.

Kyle looks at his Uncle carefully. Did he really believe that there would be one day Rachel runs away and she won't ever come back. There were a lot of predators in this world just waiting for moments like that. How could they just brush it off so easily?

"What happened to you guys?" Kyle finally asks after a long pause. "Uncle Hiram and Rachel used to be so close. Rachel used to be so happy."

"Well things change and people grow apart." Leroy began. "Rachel is getting older and she doensn't really need her dear old dads anymore. All she wants is a woman who she doesn't even know."

"Her birth mom?" Kyle asks. "I think there is a point in life where all teenage girls need a mom."

"Sure." Leroy shrugged and sniffed a little. " Do you know that when she was 12 years old she got her first period? She locked herself in the bathroom for 3 hours. She didn't want to talk to me or Hiram. She was angry and maybe a little scared. We were trying to get her to open up but instead she yelled to us that she wished she had a mom. I could see how much it hurt Hiram. It's like right then and there was what caused a rift in our home. Rachel didn't need us anymore. She needed a mom and we couldn't give her that."

Kyle folded his arms and listened as his Uncle told him how they came to be the family that they are today.

"Couldn't or wouldn't?" He narrows his eyes at his Uncle. " What would be so bad about Rachel getting to know her mom?"

"There's a contract." Leroy answered. "That woman is not Rachel's mom and she never will be. She is just a confused woman who got pregnant as a teen. She couldn't raise a child then and now is definitely not the time."

Leroy says this with such conviction, as though he is trying to convince himself that Rachel doesn't need Shelby. He tearfully looks at his nephew and quickly exits the room. Leroy has his own demons to deal with. He couldn't worry about Rachel's right now. He was always a little self centered and having a child seemed to prove that point even more.

Kyle wondered what had happened in the time that he left. It's like everything he would see between the Berry family was a dream. No remains of the happy family they used to be. Just two neglectful and self absorbed parents with a little girl who was broken in its place. It made no sense at all. But he knew the one person who needed his help the most.

He would help as much as it could if it meant putting a spark back inside of Rachel's eyes.

* * *

><p>Shelby didn't know what she was thinking when she decided to turn in early. She's been tossing and turning for the better part of an hour and if that was any indication, she wouldn't be going asleep anytime soon. Huffing one more time, Shelby turns to her side and opens her eyes.<p>

Looking at her clock, the red numbers told her it was only 9:30 pm. Still early and she wondered what Rachel was doing right now. It's not new for the brunette to suffer from insomnia at the thoughts of her babygirl. Who wasn't a baby anymore.

There are only 4 times in her memory that Shelby can call on the images of seeing her little girl in real life. Only 3 of those times did she actually get to touch the girl. Each and every time, Rachel became more grown up and more beautiful than the others, if that was possible.

Shelby was thinking about the one time she was actually able to hold a real conversation with the young girl who she wuld soon realize was the same 5 year old from the grocery store, the same premature baby that she had given away.

It was the middle of summer about 5 years ago is she remembers correctly.

_"Aunt Shelly, I'm going to play in the sand box." A 6 year old Katie yelled to her as she ran away, her long blonde hair flowing behind her. _

_Shelby smiled at her niece and told her to be careful. She sat back on a bench and watched the little girl play with a bunch of other kids that were there. Katie never had much trouble with making new friends. _

_"Which one is yours?"The woman sitting next to her asked. _

_"That one over there with the blonde hair?" Shelby pointed over to where Katie was." That's my niece."_

_"Oh she's beautiful."Blue eyes set on the little girl Shelby pointed to. "My niece Sugar is the little brunette in the tu-tu and sunglasses."_

_"Nice outfit choice," Shelby commented before turning to the woman fully to notice her blue eyes and blonde hair. "and such a sweet name."_

_"I'm Holly Holiday." The woman shook Shelby's hand. "Do you come here often?"_

_"Not very much and I'm Shelby Corcoran." Shelby shook the womans hand. "I'm just the baby sitter for the day."_

_"From Corcoran and Co?" Holly leans back against the bench. " and I feel you on that. My niece lives with me. I've had her since she was a baby. Her parents died in a car crash a few months after she was born. I like to think of her as mine."_

_Shelby didn't know how to feel about that. It's like her thoughts immediately went to Rachel. The little girl she had given away. She wondered if something were to happen to Leroy and Hiram,who would Rachel go to? Her daughter would be ten now. Did Hiram and Leroy have family that the little girl could go to?_

_"Do you have any children of your own?" _

_"No," Shelby shakes her head absentmindley. _

_Holly nods her head, she can sense that Shelby has something she isn't saying. She has a degree in Psychology after all. But she knew the woman would not say anything about it to a complete stranger. Holly's eyes focus on a little girl, no older than ten, sitting on a park bench beside them. _

_The little girl's shoes are untied and Holly can tell she is here alone. The little girl is very small and her legs swing from the park bench, the tip of her white tennis shoes barely scraping the ground. _

_"Hey have you ever seen that little girl here before?" Holly asks Shelby. _

_Shelby's eyes turn from Katie to the tiny brunette sitting all alone on the park bench beside them."No, I can't say I have..." _

_"She seems to be here alone."Holly says before her attention turns back to Sugar who is taking something from a little boy. "Sugar you give that back right now."_

_"Excuse me." Holly excuses herself and continues on to where Sugar is standing over a little boy on the monkey bars, blocking his path._

_Shelby nods and keeps her attention on the brunette sitting across from her now. Her eyes flicker to Katie who is still playing with a bunch of other kids and then back to the other girl. She doesn't realize what she is doing until her feet lead her over to bench. _

_"Hi."Shelby greets gently. _

_The tiny girl doesn't look up from her swinging feet. She simply lets out a small "Hi."_

_"Are you okay sweetie?" Shelby notices the dried tear tracks on the young girl's cheeks. "You've been crying."_

_"I'm fine."The girl avoids eye contact. _

_"Well, are you here with anyone?" Shelby tries to start up a conversation. "I couldn't help but notice you're sitting here alone."_

_Shelby has no idea why she has the urge to talk to this little girl. Being closer to her, Shelby could see that the girl could be no older than 10 years old. She was incredibly tiny for her age but the way she spoke told the woman the girl was older than her size let on. Why was she here all alone? That was dangerous. _

_The young girl simply shrugs and turns her eyes to Shelby. She gives the woman a quick once over with her wide brown eyes. It's as if Rachel is trying to figure out if she is safe to talk to or not. _

_"Do you have kids?"Rachel finally asks. _

_"I do," Shelby finds herself answering. "or I did. I had a little girl."_

_"What happened to her?" Rachel sits up in her seat a little more and looks at Shelby, she'd caught her full attention. _

_"I gave her up." Shelby spoke quietly. "I gave her, her best chance."_

_"Do you know where she is now?" Rachel asks quickly. "Does she have a new Momma?"_

_Shelby didn't like the sound of her baby girl having a new Momma. It almost broke her heart to even think about it. She would carry on this conversation with this little girl though. It was like she needed it. _

_"No, she has two fathers." Shelby revealed. "They live somewhere in Ohio now."_

_"That's so cool." Rachel breaks into a smile. It was nice to know she wasn't the only kid in the world with two fathers. "I have two dads too. I was adopted when I was a baby also. How old is your daughter?"_

_"She will be 11 December 18th of this year." Shelby informs the girl. _

_"Really?" Rachel gasps. "That's my birthday too! How cool would it be if we were born at the same hospital also?"_

_Rachel finds that she really likes this woman and the warmth that almost radiates from her. Rachel wishes that in some way this woman could be her Momma. _

_Shelby is almost thinking the same thing. What are the chances of this little girl actually being her birth daughter? Shelby's mind was trying to tell her something but it just wouldn't stick. She is just about to ask the little girl her name when someone yells it from behind them,_

_"Rachel!" A man's voice yells. _

_She can see the way Rachel sits ramrod straight before turning around in the bench. Shelby's eyes never leave the little girls as she jumps from the bench and gets into the car. Her mind is reeling and she can't seem to get one thought to come out clearly. _

_"It can't be." Shelby thought as she looked to where the car was pulling off with the little girl inside. _

_Rachel turns to look out of the window as she still feels eyes on her. __She waves at the beautiful woman at the park who is still looking at her, as though she is thinking about something. __Shelby waves back as it feels like her heart will jump out of her chest at any moment. She'd just met her daughter for the second time in 10 years. That little girl that was driving away in the back of the car was hers. The beautiful brunnette with the big brown eyes. _

* * *

><p>Rachel uses the back door this time to enter her home. She dreads having to come back here but she was hungry and she needed to sleep. Its almost 10 pm so she thinks her family would be sleep by now.<p>

"I have some food in the microwave for you." Kyle slowly comes into the kitchen to meet Rachel. He leans against the door frame and watches his cousin for a second.

Rachel nods and slips her jacket off. Setting it on the back of a chair,she slowly and quietly starts the microwave. Turning back towards Kyle, she notices the boy staring at her thoughtfully.

"Where did you go?" Kyle asks.

"No where." Rachel shrugs. "I needed some air."

"You could have at least told me where you were going." Kyle came to sit across from Rachel. "I would have gone with you."

"No offense but I needed to be alone." Rachel sits the papers she's been holding in her hands for hours on the table. She has to wash her hands before eating.

Kyle takes the papers just as Rachel turns towards the sink to wash her hands. The microwave timer goes off to signal that her food is done. He thumbs through the stack of papers.

"So, your birth mom was the center of that little outburst?" Kyle concludes.

Rachel glances over to him before getting her spaghetti out of the microwave. Grabbing a few silver ware and a glass of water, Rachel finally sits at the table.

"She was part of it." Rachel answers. "But it's more about them and me."

"You want a relationship with her?" Kyle states.

Rachel looks into her bowl for a second and then back up to Kyle. She really doesn't know what she wants anymore.

Nodding, Rachel goes back to eating her food. She was hungrier than she thought.

"You want to know why I came back?" Kyle sets the papers down and takes a deep breath. "Karma sure is a bitch and she got me this time."

"What happened?" Rachel speaks up. She really wants to know.

"I found out that the man who I thought was my father..."Kyle tries to figure out what he is going to say. He takes a deep breath and finally lets it out. "isn't. My parents have been lying to me this whole time. Turns out my real father died in a drunk driving accident when I was 2."

Rachel is speechless as she tries to understand why Kyle is telling her all of this.

"It sucks I know." Kyle chuckles humorlessly. "It sucks to really find out that your family is not your family."

"Your dad is still your dad." Rachel speaks up. "At least he still loves you."

"Yea." Kyle sucks his teeth. "But there's also a sudden urge to figure out where I came from. So in a few weeks I'll be going to live with my grandparents, my biological dads parents. Turns out I have brothers and sisters."

"Wow." Rachel doesn't exactly know what to say.

"So what I'm trying to say is. Everyone deserves a chance to know where they are from." Kyle stands and takes something from his pocket. He slides it across the table to Rachel.

Rachel looks down at the item, it's his phone. What was she supposed to do with this?

"I know she gave you her number." Kyle pulls her from her thoughts. "Call her. No matter what your fathers say, you deserve to know. I won't tell them."

Kyle pushes in his chair and exits the room. He figures Rachel wil need privacy when she does this. "It's not too late to form a relationship."

Rachel doesn't know how long she has been sitting here before she actually picks up the phone. Turning it over in her hands a few times, she actually weighs the pros and cons of calling Shelby. Its 10 pm would she even answer?

If Rachel calls Shelby will they form a relatioship? or was Shelby just lying to her? Would her fathers find out? So many doubts ran through Rachel's head as she dialed the number to Shelby's biggest doubt though that was nagging her was would Shelby regret trying to form a relationship if she finds out how much of a loser Rachel truly is? What if Shelby realizes that Rachel isn't who she wants? What if its the baby Shelby wants and not Rachel?

In the ends her doubts win and she slides the phone back across the table. She can't take anymore rejection. She doesn't have it in her to actually call Shelby. No matter how much she wants to. She is afraid and confused.

What if she isn't good enough for Shelby?

* * *

><p>Shelby is finally drifting off to sleep around 10 pm. The tiny blanket she is holding would have belonged to Rachel. It's pink and white stitching was custom made by her Nonna just for Rachel. Shelby never got a chance to give it to her.<p>

On nights like this it was the only thing to help her calm down enough to fall alseep. Shelby slept with this blanket day and night with she was pregnant with Rachel. It was just too bad that the blanket would never have her baby smell.

* * *

><p>The next day as Shelby begins Vocal Adrenaline practice she assigns her team a new Regionals idea. You could never go wrong with Gaga. She's been talking to Jesse St. James and instructing him to be on his best today. The boy declared that he was always on his best. He could be so conceited and vain sometimes.<p>

Shelby has concluded that Rachel wasn't going to call her. Maybe she had pushed the girl for something she wasn't ready for. Maybe Rachel just didn't want a relationship with her period. Did the Berry's feed the girl more lies of who and what her mother was.

Shelby looks at each and everyone of her students. Trying to hide the hurt that she feels, she throws herself into her work. She teaches and coaches with an iron fist. This is Gaga and they have to do it right. But today her students just don't have the energy and the stage presence like usual. Maybe it could be all of the cleaning they have been doing.

Shelby is usually so proud of her kids. But nothing they have done so far this practice has satisfied her. Ir's like she's looking for something that isn't there. So she shows them what they are missing.

"Funny Girl , E-Flat." She barks out to the piano man.

She doesn't like being so cruel but she's frustrated and hurt.

As Shelby continues to sing Funny Girl, she lets the song take over and she shows her kids what the definition of a true performer is. Out of the corner of her eye, Shelby can see a figure slowly coming out of the shadows from the back of the auditorium.

"Miss Corcoran?" A voice calls out to her.

Shelby's eyes gloss over as the figure comes closer. She can't help but feel her heart soar as she notices who it is. As the song ends and the music dies down, Shelby's gaze never leaves the person who calls her formally by her name.

**A/N: So please review for another chapter. I would love to hear all of your opinions on this chapter and what you think should happen. **

**-LSAM**


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